“Does it really matter?” “Take the high road!” “You’re giving him what he wants by responding!!” “By getting a reaction from you, they won!”
Whenever I vent, or address a pretty nasty comment from someone, these are some of the reactions I get. Let me just get “real” for a moment…after someone made some derogatory comments about me, I didn’t do what I WANTED to do. I wanted to write something nasty back to him. I wanted to look into the lens of the camera and call the person out by name during the news. I wanted to go up to him on the street and have a few “words” with him. I wanted to unleash my parents on him…let them have their say with the man who referred to their daughter as a “cheap, trashy, floozy.” THAT would be getting down to his level.
But I didn’t do anything of those things. I took the high road…but that doesn’t mean I turn the other cheek and sit in silence. It is NOT ok for people to hide behind a computer and unleash their fury on their unsuspecting target. It is not okay to be called nasty names. It is not okay to post horrendous comments for everyone to see. I took a stand. I spend a lot of time in schools telling kids to stand up to the bullies…so why wouldn’t I do the same thing?
It’s not about picking a battle…it’s not about feeding into someone’s negativity. For me, it’s about saying, “Look, it is not okay for you to talk to me like that. I am not going to tolerate it. I will call you out on your rude, crude, ignorant behavior.”
I have never been, nor will I ever be a doormat.
I don’t lose sleep over the comments that are made about me. If that was the case, I would probably never sleep. But I will always stand up for myself…for my family…for my friends…for the people who are too afraid to stand up for themselves.
If you don’t stand for something…you will fall for anything.
I love and welcome critique. “Hey Amanda, I’m not sure red is your color.” “Hey, you mispronounced Tripoli.” “I like you better when your hair is a little darker and shorter.” I welcome feedback like that. Not everyone likes me…and that is ok. Not everyone likes how I anchor, talk, dress, wear my hair. That’s ok. Words like cheap, trashy, stupid (and so on)…that’s not critique. It’s rude, unacceptable behavior and you should be held accountable for it. If I’m the one who has to hold you accountable…so be it.
Change has to start somewhere.