To my daughters…

October 11, 2016 0 Comments

To my daughters,

When I was in 6th grade, I switched out my Underoos tank top for a bra. I remember that day well…your grandmother beamed with pride and Puppa got teary-eyed and wouldn’t talk to me for a couple of days.  For some strange reason back then, it was cool to wear a bra…and because of the seemingly paper-thin, white, button down Oxford uniform shirt…everyone knew that you were wearing one.  Let me get right to my point here — the majority of the boys in my class thought it was hilarious to snap our bra-straps. Yes.  The boys would grab the back of my bra through my shirt…pull on it like they were about to use it as a bow to shoot an arrow…and then they would let go of the strap.  It would smack against my skin.  They did it to me…they did it to nearly every single girl in my class.

The first time it happened, I turned around and snapped, “Knock it off!”

The second time was different. The strap didn’t even have time to snap against my skin…the kid got an elbow to the throat.  And yes, I did enjoy hearing all of his little friends laugh at the fact that a girl about made him cry.

Trust me, I have daily conversations with your brother about how to treat girls.

But right now…I want you to listen to me: boys are going to try stupid stuff all of the time.  Boys are NOT allowed to touch you inappropriately EVER.  If boys don’t listen to the word NO…then mommy will teach you a very effective move with your knee that will make sure they get the message that you are not one to mess with. You not only have my permission to do so…I encourage you to do so.

You will be the topic of a lot of superficial guy talk.  The size of your chest…the size of your rear-end…your weight…your face.  They may call you names like fat, ugly or geeky.  They’ll talk about you with their friends in the locker room…or they may say it when you are within an ear-shot.  It could even be the nicest boy in your class who is an altar boy, plays basketball and shovels his elderly neighbor’s driveway in the winter.

It’s not ok or fair to be talked about, judged and hated on because of your looks or measurements…but it happens. A lot.

I don’t want you going through life with blinders on.  I don’t want you to be naïve to think that “locker-room” talk doesn’t happen or that it only happens with the “bad crowd.”  FYI -A lot of the boys who said mean and crude things about Mommy came from really good homes with really great parents. It’s not about what is said about you — it’s how you respond to it.

YOU define YOU. And you know who you are. You know your worth.  And your worth is SO MUCH more than cheap and superficial labels that other people try to place on you.

When people don’t know your worth and they want to be disrespectful to you…they don’t deserve to know you.  And yes girls, it is flattering when other people think we are “pretty.” But

Only surround yourself with those who lift you up…if they try to bring you down with nasty words or behavior…just leave them there.  That’s where they belong…beneath you.

And if that doesn’t work — bring them to mommy. I’ll handle them.

Love, Mom

P.S. Forget the superficial stuff. Focus on your brains…and your left hook 😉

Filed in: Uncategorized

About the Author:

Leave a Reply