It was around 20 weeks when we discovered Thomas was definitely a boy that my mom said we would now have to decide whether he would be circumcised.  I had never thought much about it because I had only dealt with girls.  Right away I opted to leave the decision up to Daddy.  Afterall, I wouldn’t expect him to handle menstrual cycle conversations down the road.  (Sorry if all of this is too graphic but these are real issues parents deal with.)  Of course my parents and a couple friends pointed out that people like Dr. Oz have publicly proclaimed the whole process of cicrumcision unnecessary-adding that it decreases sensitivity.  The two local ob-gyns I talked with didn’t really agree.  One said it would be like 50/50 in the locker room among the boys by the time Thomas was in high school.  The other said more than 90 percent of the boys she delivers are still getting circumcised and that it would be easier for them to keep the area clean-especially when they hit the grade school stage and didn’t want to take a bath.  Dave decided to go ahead with it and had my full support.  Thomas was too little to remember it and the modern method seems to limit discomfort.  That’s not to say it doesn’t hurt.  And I would have been okay with opting out.  But like so many choices we make as parents it is one that you decide upon, act upon and then move on.  And I haven’t really given it much more thought since.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

Every night Charlotte wants her favorite doll beside her.  Baby Boy is her version of my baby boy.  She rocks him, takes him to school and along for walks and even dresses him in her brother’s clothes-though he spends most of his days naked.  I have discovered the way she treats Baby Boy is often a reflection of how we’re treating her.  Some days he gets in trouble, in other words.  When Baby Boy is in time out Charlotte has informed me that he laughsabout it.  Hmmm…really?  When Baby Boy “goes missing” I am usually the one sent out on a search.  Last night she insisted I should go look for him when I failed to distract her with “I Spy” books.  I mean this is a doll who come prayer time is included in the list of those God should watch over-right up there with Nana and Papa in her mind.  So off I went to get him.  I looked in the high chair, on the main floor recliners and couch and in the basement… no Baby Boy.  I even went in the garage and checked Daddy’s truck and the stroller!  I marched upstairs to tell Charlotte I could not find him.  “He’s on Butterscotch, ” she said without hesitating.  ”Oh,” I replied and proceeded to traipse back downstairs to get him off the back of the life-like horse in our living room.  That’s what it’s come to.  I do what my managers tell me at work then I go home to answer to my other boss!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

I accept it.  Because Dave and I had kids a bit later in life, much later for him the second time around, we will probably look older than many of the other parents in the Little League crowd or at school conferences.  But there is an upside to waiting a few years before you have children.  These are my somewhat shallow arguments:  when my kids were born both my parents were retired thereby giving them total flexibility to see them and to help out, when others my age are waving their babies off to college mine will be in middle school, when I was in my 20′s I could wear low-cut jeans and belly-baring tops to nightclubs with no stretch marks or fear of muffin top (of course that would not be happening period at this stage in my life), when I used to make minimum wage and could not afford a house not having kids was a plus from a financial standpoint and perhaps the most important point-I think I am a better parent now than I would have been in my 20′s because I am simply older and wiser and more mature.  Now the flip side… you don’t have as much energy when you’re older to battle toddlers refusing to put on their pajamas and babies who hate to get their nails clipped, you may need a walker or wheelchair to attend your child’s wedding and/or graduation-hopefully college if any, your golden years will be filled with convincing your 20-something to move out and be independent-assuming one or more children may return at some point, your body will never bounce back after childbirth like it would have if you were younger, your child’s teacher may mistake you for a grandparent and you may never live to see your grandchildren.  That last one is harsh but I know that’s what some of you might be thinking.  The bottom line-no time is ever the BEST time to have a child.  You just do it because you know it will prove to be the best decision you ever made!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

Courtesy: TLC

If you’re a fan of reality TV, check out the new show on TLC called Toddlers and Tiaras.  It will make you feel good about your parenting-believe me.  These moms claim putting their little girls in pageants-some barely over 6 months-is all about the kids having fun.  Obviously the producers of the show disagree because it is edited in a way that suggests otherwise.  One girl (who looks 14) in the 10-12 age group complained about how much it hurt when her hair was being frantically teased backstage.  She also gagged when a professional spray tanner came to her house to coat her skin out of an aerosol can.  Her dream is to be Miss South Carolina and then Miss America.  I guess she’s on her way.  Maybe I am jealous because I was never pageant material.  A former co-worker of mine, who was a regular participant in California pageants, told me about putting Vaseline on her teeth to make them shine, double-stick tape on her butt to hold her swimsuit and duct tape under her breasts to pull them together.  No thanks, I thought.  Fake eyelashes are about as far as I go… and that has only been in my 30′s.  I am actually thrilled Charlotte is such a tomboy.  She wears girly stuff but is just as comfortable in sweats and tennis shoes.  I don’t think she’ll be missing out if she skips the swimsuit and talent competitions.  A former boss told me he loved hiring news anchors and reporters with pageant experience.  “We don’t have time to teach hair and make-up,” he explained.  After gagging internally I thought to myself, I need to get out of this business.  Fortunately future news directors considered what came out when you opened your mouth.  That worked in my favor.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

One plus of meeting my parents, sister and brother-in-law for the weekend in Quad Cities was the hotel pool.  Charlotte was so excited to wear her new swimsuit and get in the water with her loved ones.  Dave had already taken Thomas down the hall and was in the water with him when Charlotte and I walked in.  I turned to a poolside table to put down my stuff and get Charlotte’s water wings out.  For a moment, my back was to Charlotte.  Dave was turned away, too, as he was trying to put Thomas in a baby float I had just given him.  My sister walked through the pool area doors and calmly said, “Where’s Charlotte?”  You know where this is going.  I spun around to discover only the top of her head showing in the water near the shallow-end steps.  There was that moment of frozen fear that overtakes you.  Then I shouted to Dave, “Grab Charlotte!”  He quickly pulled her up.  A few coughs and cries but thankfully she was okay.  A big lesson learned here.  We never heard a splash.  She must have quickly and quietly walked down the steps and off the last one where she went under.  It must have happened in under a minute.  Later she told me, “I was under the water and I was trying to swim.”  Dave said her eyes were open and she was moving her arms.  My mom had the same scenario play out with my little sister twice in one week during a Florida vacation.  I remember it.  She said I just lost ten years of my life.  No kidding.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

Just when we thought Thomas was going to be the easy one, he has started to emerge from his somewhat reserved shell.  And we’re in trouble.  Like his sister, the near 7-month-old baby boy is very aggressive.  I know.  I know.  He’s a boy.  But you don’t understand.  Charlotte is a girl and recently head-butted a child at daycare.  Lately she has taken to throwing a giant exercise ball at her brother’s head.  Oh, and as I was walking down the stairs carrying a big bin filled with outgrown clothes, she threw the ball down after me and I nearly toppled over when it slammed into my back.  “So why are you letting her play with it?”  Have you been talking to my husband?  I digress.  This entry is about Thomas, remember?  He slaps his hand so hard against his high chair tray and bath water, I am scared of getting smacked.  He squeezes and pinches my hands, face and neck when I’m giving him a bottle.  I have scratches and cuts all over.  And it hurts!  I try to clip his nails but I swear they grow back overnight.  He pulls hair with a clenched fist and often has strands from my head and Charlotte’s in his hands.  This boy stuff is starting to get scary.  He still isn’t crawling forward, just scooting backward.  But he keeps getting into push-up position and can hold it.  Mommy can’t do that!  What?  You’re not surprised.  We long ago put the coffee table in basement storage and removed any valuables and breakables from waist high and below.  I don’t think we have taken the necessary steps, though, to deal with what’s to come when TWO little people are let loose in our house.  My husband has suggested a rubber room.  For us or them, I’m wondering.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

Remember that Dunkin Donuts commercial from the 80′s, I think, where it showed the baker repeatedly coming to work in the wee hours to make donuts?  “Time to make the donuts,” he would say every morning.  (I just checked YouTube-of course it’s on there-and it was 1983 to be exact.)  If you are the parent of a young child, you feel this guy’s pain.  Every day it’s like I’m taking my place on the assembly line after punching the clock.  Time to make the bottles, I thought earlier today, as I prepared 4 for Thomas.  He needs 3, 6-ounce bottles for daycare and I needed to have one ready when he awakened from his morning nap.  I noticed Daddy already had a little container of dry cereal ready for later.  He also routinely sets out his clothes for work, glass for morning milk and medicine and travel cup for coffee.  All of this going through the motions never ends.  Empty the Diaper Genies, refill the diaper bag and changing tables with supplies, wash and return extra clothes to the diaper bag and backpack, load the dishwasher, unload it, pick up toys, watch them all get taken down and thrown around, pick them up again when the toddler proves little help, collect the dirty laundry, wash it, dry it, fold it, put it away and hope no one messes up those organized drawers!  It’s true.  We live our lives doing a thousand little tasks and then repeating them with no end.  I know this is part of maintaining a household.  I now get why a lot of stay-at-home parents deserve a paycheck.  The work I do at home is much more taxing than anything I do at my salaried job.  And there is still a lot that never seems to get done.  The laundry situation can be so overwhelming at times Dave usually does 1-2 loads a day.  All this for two adults, a toddler and a baby?  Our garbage can is the biggest one the city supplys and it’s overstuffed every week.  Guess we have a long way to go in the “going green” department.  My apologies, at this point I am not giving up disposable diapers!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

There is no such thing as a convenient time to get sick.  Inevitably a sore throat or severe cough comes on when you are ill prepared to handle the fall out-but you work it out because you have to.  Thomas was sick and out of daycare almost all of last week.  It resulted in two trips to the doctor, two sick days taken by each parent, a lot of lost sleep for the entire family and a visit from Nana.  It was around the 6-month mark when Charlotte had a string of ear infections.  She is pictured above dealing with one.  You can always see it in the eyes.  Thomas had that same look.  Perhaps even worse, Daddy had that look last night.  It started with a sore throat, then aches and pains followed by all-night chills.  By 5am it was clear he barely had enough energy to get up.  So began a day of running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Been there?  From 6-8:30am I handled the kids as usual, even managed to squeeze in a trip to the post office before taking Charlotte to preschool.  You see I still had Valentine’s cards and presents to mail!  Then Thomas and I raced home to pick up Daddy, take him to the doctor, discover his fever was 101 and an antibioic may NOT help relieve his symptoms.  Off to pick up his meds, drop him at home, feed Thomas and take him to daycare then race home to shove a bowl of mixed vegetables down before a half-hour nap.  Did I mention I was going on about 4 hours of sleep through all of this?  I jolted awake at 1pm as if I had been sleeping for days.  Tiptoe upstairs to get ready and realize Daddy has not moved much at all.  Better make plans to pick the kids up-thank the Lord for our neighbors.  They have 4 kids, 2 dogs and a cat so what’s two more kids in the mix?  I was able to get to work, to a shoot for a health story and back across town to pick them up and drop them off at home, run next door to discover Dave STILL had not been out of bed and race back to work where I sit now!  A brief chat with the folks revealed the chaos of my life is something my mom can relate to-10 years is about how long it lasted, she said.  Great!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

I had looked forward to our Valentine’s Day date for a while.  Some of you know how it is… very limited time alone with your husband unless you lock the bedroom door.  But of course you’ll open it when a little one comes knocking.  So when Dave and I headed out the door at 5:10pm Saturday I didn’t mind putting my make-up on in the car, I was just glad to be with him in a kid-free space.  The plan was dinner and a movie.  I was able to find Weight Watcher point values for Olive Garden on-line so we headed there.  2-hour wait?  Hello, Wendy’s!  I am not kidding.  We were a bit overdressed for a junior bacon cheeseburger and a Frosty-don’t judge, I had a grilled chicken sandwich and chili.  I had been saving my points all day!  Next stop, a 7:10pm showing of Gran Torino.  I had heard a lot of good things about the movie.  And I loved it-all roughly 60 minutes I saw.  Abby called.  Thomas had been crying for 30 minutes with no sign of stopping.  Of course we were glad she called.  Ever held your phone on vibrate through a movie?  We politely excused ourselves from one of Dave’s co-workers and his wife.   (We ran into them there.  They had gone to McDonald’s-they have 4 kids.  Any dinner without food being thrown, smashed or dropped is a gourmet meal!)  We were in the car by 8:36pm and home in time to see Thomas calm down when The Wiggles were turned on.  His sister played these same games at 6 months.  Cry your head off until they come home then stare wide-eyed and innocently as they come rushing through the door.  Oh, well.  Some day we will be able to see the rest of the movie.  Maybe in three or four years.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7

Dear Dave,

     Eleven years ago tomorrow we met for the first time.  We’ve been together ever since.  I took a chance on a divorced father of two.  You risked losing a woman who, until you, always put her career first.  Watching you with your daughters showed me you were a good man.  Spending time with Taylor and Lauren taught me I, too, could be a parent someday.  When I moved away from you in 2002, I put our love on the line for a new job.  I still wanted to be with you but was afraid I would resent giving up career fulfillment for a boyfriend.  God blessed me with a solution when you were willing to follow me here more than two years later.  It took walking away to convince me that once I got you back I would never let you go.  When you flew in and suprised me with a Valentine’s Day proposal in 2005, I knew our lives would alter.  But I could have never grasped the depth of joy awaiting us upon the birth of our two beautiful babies in three years.  Through all the chaos of parenting, we still hold hands and hug.  We still say “I love you” whenever it comes to mind-and that’s often.  I never felt I needed a man to complete me, but the permanent addition of you in my life has made living so much richer.  You are my best friend. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, honey.  Thanks for an incredible decade.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 7