Who knew so many men would be interested in reading a frenzied mom’s musings?  Based on recent comments posted on my blog, I have a lot of male readers.  Jeff, Doug, Phil and John have all stepped out of the shadows and joined the ranks of blog posters.  And there are more men among you.  My neighbor, Tom, reads this blog.  Another Jeff, my husband’s co-worker, likes it.  Even a couple women have stopped me to tell me their HUSBANDS enjoy my blog.  If there was any doubt about how much the men in our lives care about mommies who vent on-line, over-the-phone or to a husband with one eye on ESPN and hopefully one ear on you, now we know.  They do care-immensely.  Instead of going on-line to check out the latest fantasy football stats or scantily-clad ladies on websites only dudes know about, these guys are taking the time to read what a WOMAN has to say about life with a husband and two little ones at home.  It’s like the men who secretly read Cosmo when it’s left in the bathroom.  Okay, my blog isn’t offering any tips on heating things up in the bedroom.  But who knows when I’ll run out of other ideas?  Ha, ha

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

To think Charlotte’s only been out of the womb 34 months and she has already mastered the art of embarrassing her mother.  Today’s incident at the library landed her in advanced studies.  We were in the single stall bathroom in the children’s section.  You know, the kind where the toilet and sink are in one small room and the outside door is the only one that exists?  After she successfully peed, it was Mommy’s turn.  So I sat down to also take a potty break and she swung the door open!  Of course pulling the door handle down releases the lock.  Do I jump up to shut the door thereby further exposing myself, I thought in the split seconds that seemed like an eternity as it was happening, or do I scream at her to close it thereby alerting the moms with a direct line of sight to the toilet to take a gander?  Fortunately, she closed the door SLOWLY with a sinister grin on her face.  Yes, my 2-year-old is a natural at coming right up to the line and then crossing it when a chance for negative attention presents itself.  This morning I was feeding Thomas a bottle when she showed up on the WOODEN kitchen floor with her black patent dress shoes.  Knowing she is not supposed to wear them on it, Charlotte gingerly walked around the table on the rug underneath careful not to step on the wood-the whole time smiling like the cat who just ate the canary.  At these moments I am torn between yelling at her to stop, stating calmly that she knows better or ignoring the whole display.  Today I chose option B.  Tomorrow I will pick another one.  And Wednesday I will add option D, having a nervous breakdown.  Hopefully that won’t happen, but I am keeping my options open.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

Charlotte is so proud to be a big sister.  It is neat to see.  She will shout from one cart to the other one (that Thomas is in) at Walmart, “Hey, Thomas!”  He kicks his legs and smiles.  I am amazed at the bond already forged between them.  He’s only 8 months, afterall.  It’s like the minute she enters the room he lights up.  He smiles and laughs out loud when she forcefully nuzzles his belly with her head.  She also blows water flute toys in his ear during baths.  And she splashes him and puts soap on him, too.  He seems to love the attention, no matter how painful or irritating. 

The other day I thought he was whining in his carseat.  “Is Thomas crabbing?” I said to Charlotte.  “No, he’s just talking to me,” she replied.  I guess she would know.  Yesterday when he was upset she told me it was because “Thomas misses his daddy.”  Who knows?  Maybe she can tell what he’s thinking.  I am blown away by the connection between two, well, babies.  Sibling rivalry to come aside, isn’t it awesome that two people can create two instant playmates?  I’m glad I had a second one… some days more than others.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

“Big news in the Gettman house,” I told my husband today.  “You’re pregnant,” he JOKINGLY replied.  Actually it’s quite the opposite.  My swollen pregnancy fingers are finally (thanks to some weight loss) getting back to their normal size, so today I was able to put my wedding band back on with my engagement ring.  Dave was happy for me.  At one point while carrying Charlotte, I was told if I did not remove my rings they would have to be cut off.  Not good!  So I did the Carrie Bradshaw thing and wore my engagement ring around my neck for months, during both pregnancies.  It’s funny how when you first get engaged you never imagine how much child birth and weight gain over the course of your union will impact the all-important representation of your status around your finger.  But how could you know?  At that point in your life you’re probably foolish enough to think you’ll still be able to fit in your wedding dress in five years and your body will “bounce back” after having kids.  I got over those MYTHS early on.  Perhaps one of the smarter things I did pre-marriage and babies was to act on my mom’s suggestion.  She told me to have some more-revealing shots done for my husband.  “Your body will never look that good again,” she knowingly shared.  Let’s just say the pictures are very tasteful and one hangs in our walk-in bedroom closet.  The body looks different now but the rings are back on!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

At the hair salon today, I had a lot of time to chat with my stylist.  A full highlight and cut takes about three hours.  Our conversations get pretty intense, covering everything from the meaning of marriage to tax laws.  But we’re women so at some point the exchange always touches on our relationships with other women.  I explained that a couple situations involving two females in my past have made me question my role as a “friend”.  Women always say they want their friends to be honest with them, yet I have found over the years it depends on the situation.  For example, when I discovered a close friend and co-worker of mine was being cheated on by her “serious” boyfriend I told her.  You see, she had moved to another state for a new job and during their now long-distance dating he began a relationship with another woman I knew.  Both ladies involved thought he was marriage potential.  So much so, he looked at engagement rings with one girlfriend and went to the other one’s parents’ house for dinners!  I could not turn a blind eye.  I called my friend and told her what I knew.  How could I live with myself, I thought, if they ended up getting married and I remained mum?  Well, guess what?  You probably know where this is going.  Not only did she essentially end our friendship immediately, she claimed I was only telling her this because I was jealous of her relationship.  (Keep in mind I was already dating my future husband at the time!)  Not only did they stay together, today they are married.  We still don’t talk.  Another friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.  I gladly accepted.  But upon getting to know her future husband I quickly realized the union was doomed.  I had known her for years.  They barely knew one another.  I never said a negative word to her about it.  The marriage was over in less than five years.  So the question I posed to my stylist, “How do you know if a friend really wants you to be honest, maybe they don’t want to know the truth?”  Perhaps some of us end up surrounding ourselves with like-minded people who never disagree but simply nod in robotic support.  Others become news anchors and are reminded every day via phone calls and email about how much improvement is necessary.  It keeps me honest, I guess!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

Rain today and yesterday reminds me that owners of malls and some restaurants are nuts for not having a play area for children.  I admit the little ones can do a lot of damage in a short time… but, and this is the point, it guarantees parents with money in their pockets-or at least charge cards-will go there.  Why?  Because we will do anything to get the kids out of the house and to a place where they can exert a lot of energy.  Preferably it’s a place with padded carpeting and straight jackets for the parents-okay not the second one.  I can’t tell you how many times we have picked Burger King over any other nearby fast food place solely because of the indoor playground.  Charlotte can’t even reach the platforms to get up to the plastic tunnels but inevitably some bigger kids or petite parents (this would not be me!) assist her.  I know what some of you are thinking.  Yes, I have heard the stories about all the germs in these shared play areas.  But guess what?  Charlotte puts her hands all over the restrooms in these joints and we know they’re no cleaner.  The other plus is hanging out with the other moms and dads you always end up having an interesting conversation with about sleep habits, bratty behavior, controlling siblings, you name it.  These are topics that you can’t bring up just anywhere.  But on a bench in the mall’s kids’ zone, they are welcome discussions.  I always love the feeling I get when I exchange glances with another mom or dad or grandparent.  Yes, these kids are wild but what are we going to do about it… what can we do about it?  I guess just keep taking them to BK, McDonald’s, Von Maur’s train table and the library.  See you there!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

I am home sick today.  The dizziness and headache of this morning and afternoon have somewhat subsided from a log nap but perhaps my spirits were lifted the most when Daddy and the kids came home after work and daycare. From the couch, I watched them laughing and playing.  It was the best medicine.  To see Thomas reach out his little hands to grasp Daddy’s so he can be pulled into a standing position is so precious.  Dave even said he thinks Thomas does look like him-something he never really recognized until now.  Charlotte got me some orange juice and another dish from her”kitchen” and asked me if I was better after pretending to drink and eat the imaginary meal.  She also asked if I had a sore throat.  Funny the things kids associate with being sick.  Of course Charlotte wanted me to get up and play with her.  The limitation and lack of energy struck me particularly having interviewed so many moms who survived breast cancer with little ones-one mom diagnosed and treated while pregnant with her third child!  How did they get through it, I thought.  And to think I was feeling bad to be down and out from playtime for one single day.  Count your blessings, lady, I reminded myself.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

I watched some of the countless neighbor kids outside today while we were inside with ours.  “You know what’s sad,” I remarked to Dave, “in 2 or 3 years they will want to play with their friends more than us.”  He said that’s already happening with Charlotte.  It is sad.  Not even 3 and hanging with her peers is such an appealing adventure.  Of course we end up monitoring the action nearby.  Dave spends his whole workday with high school kids then comes home for playground duty at our backyard swing set.  From the minute they could make out objects clearly in the distance, both of our children have been fascinated with the “big kids”.  Charlotte shrieks with delight when she spots some of her friends through the car window as we’re pulling up to our house.  Some of them have changed so much since the last time we really saw them up- close, before winter hit!  That is the one plus of potentially horrible weather conditions many months out of the year here in Iowa, it forces your kids to stay trapped inside with you.  They will drive you nuts, at times, but at least the family’s together.  As an adult, I have always loved spending time with my parents.  But what about all those years in between when I did everything I could to secure time with friends and boyfriends-the majority of them people I didn’t stay in touch with?  Okay, some of them are now Facebook friends.  But you know what I mean.  I am not ready for that long lapse of being uncool to my children.  Yet it’s unavoidable.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

I think I am one of those moms who lets my kids push the envelope too much.  No, I don’t think that’s the case-I know it is!  Dave is quick to point it out to me if I ever pretend otherwise.  Case in point, the above photo features Thomas sitting on the train table at Barnes & Noble.  Dave told me to get him off of it shortly before a store employee suggested the same.  And, yes, I used to be one of those people who was critical of what some parents allowed their children to do in public… like crawling around on the dirty airport floor waiting to board at the gate area.  Then I took my 10-month-old on two long plane rides to Florida and barely blinked when she rolled around on said carpet between flights.  I get it now.  You do what you can to make EVERYBODY comfortable, even if the only way to exert a baby’s energy to get her to sleep later may raise some eyebrows.  I have to admit at the heart of this is my own childhood experience.  I had a father who always let his daughters be free spirits, so to speak.  For example, when he was driving my friends and me home from ”Sixteen Candles” for my 5th grade birthday party he let us hang out of the windows and scream at passing cars.  A cop pulled us over.  My dad calmly explained it was his daughter’s birthday and that’s why we were doing it.  Another time he let me have a Halloween bonfire in the lot by our house.  I was in high school and it was a weeknight.  Unfortunately, a hundred or more kids showed up.  My mom was not happy.  My dad was pretty cool about the whole thing.  I could go on and on.  The point is I usually knew then, as I know now, to be responsible.  I plan to blend that with a little leeway and understanding when it comes to my kids.  We’ll see how that goes!!!!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8

You know how you play things out in your head and they never turn out that way?  Well when Dave returned home yesterday evening I was relieved to know that today we would both be home with the kids all morning and things would go much more smoothly than when we are at it solo.  I could not have been more wrong.  It’s like kids know when you let your guard down and they strike!  Dave had been up with Thomas for a late-night bottle so when he was whining in his crib at 5:30 (Thomas, not my husband!) I swooped in and took him downstairs so Daddy and Charlotte could sleep in.  That helped as they didn’t come down until 7am.  The bright spot was a 2-hour nap I got from 7:30-9:30am when they went with Daddy to run errands.  But I was awakened with a head-butt to the forehead from the 2-year-old.  She rolled into me in an attempt to wake me up.  It worked!  I took over inside so Daddy could tackle all the stuff he’s been excited to get done in the garage.  As Dave raced to get storage racks in place, he could not help but hear some crying and shouting inside.  Let’s see… Charlotte threw a toy car at her brother’s head.  Thomas fell on his plastic shaker and screamed.  Charlotte dragged out so many toys and bags and papers that the fairly-organized house looked like a windstorm swept through it.  And there is still the issue of when to unpack all the clothes from the weekend.  I just did not have the energy to do it.  So now I am faced with twice the work.  Did I mention Thomas wants to stand-all day-when he’s not sleeping?  Of course he can only scoot and is no where near walking, so he wants to be held up against something or simply in a standing position.  This can get old fast.  And he is supposed to be the easier, more content one!  By the time I got in the shower to shampoo my hair for the first time in days, I was joined by a screaming toddler who wanted to get in but could not get her shirt over her head.  She made it in with my help and a lot of water shooting out on the tile floor in the process.  I finally made it to work, 15 minutes late, with half my make-up on and a wet head.  That’s right.  I am sitting at my desk pretty dressed up with hair that looks like I just came from a half-done dog grooming.  Better not bring up dogs again.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8