I realized, yesterday actually, that in the past few years confidence I thought came from more life experience and maturity really stems from being a parent.  Think about it.  Before kids were you more self-conscious and intimidated in certain situations?  Now, if you’re like me, you don’t care as much what other people think.  You don’t have the time or energy.  I used to stress over things that don’t phase me these days.  At this point I’m just thrilled to make it out of the house without slobber stains on my shoulder or a smashed fruit snack stuck to my backside.  It occurred to me last night moderating a live mayoral debate with Ron that doing live television doesn’t make me that nervous anymore.  Of course it’s an adrenaline rush, but no where near as nerve-wracking as finding your baby at the top of the stairs turning around to smile at you… or watching your toddler run on the wet cement at the waterpark only to slip and hit her head… or getting a call from your husband with two crying kids in the background and there’s nothing you can do about it.  This heightened level of self-confidence is like a gift to new moms and dads to counter some of the self-sacrifice and worrying ways that are also a part of the package.  I can handle anything now that I’ve been through two pregnancies and two C-sections AND two other people are dependent on me for life!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

I have a unique opportunity as a mother of two young children and step-mom to two college students.  Not only am I navigating the toddler trenches, I’m fortunate to play a supporting role in the lives of Dave’s daughters transitioning to adulthood.  I am dead-tired today because last night I was on the phone with my oldest step-daughter, Taylor, for nearly two hours AFTER the 10pm news.  She is a senior in college with a 3.8 GPA.  It has been an honor for me to help with her class papers and take-home exams on her path to academic success.  That’s one skill I excel in and enjoy, editing.  So it’s great to be able to assist her and, in the process, talk with her on a regular basis.  Our conversation last night covered a lot of very personal ground.  We talked about her life as a child of divorced parents, how much satisfaction she derives from excelling in her courses and her passion for social services as she preps to enter the real world.  I am so proud of her and her sister, Lauren.  They didn’t let their parents’ divorce or subsequent break-up of their mom’s second marriage define them.  Both have seemingly avoided the path of drugs and diversions in favor of staying in school and pursuing college degrees.  I told Taylor last night dating her dad all those years gave me the rare chance to see my now husband in action as a father.  That is one plus of being with a man who has children.  I knew he would be great with mine based on his performance with his own.  One scary thought… Taylor turns 22 next week.  Which means should she choose to marry and have children in the next few years, she would make me a grandma when I’ve barely reached 40.  Yikes!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

Talking with a doctor I interviewed for a health story yesterday, we got on the subject of investigative news stories and ones that would be good to cover in this market.  He said to me, “Don’t you want to win a Pulitzer?”  Without hesitation I said, “No.”  Once I had children, striving to win a prestigious journalism award is really not in my realm of thinking.  Career goals have shifted to the lower end of my priority list, behind items like raising healthy and happy kids or being a good wife and mother.  Sure if a call came asking me to anchor in a bigger market for a lot more money, I would be flattered and smart enough to seriously consider it.  But I wouldn’t be dumb enough to take a job that exclusively benefits moi at the expense of my husband and children.  We’re a team now and I have to think in terms of what’s best for ALL of us.  That changes things up a lot when it comes to your personal drive and mission in life.  My goal is to put my family first.  That, frankly, can’t always happen when there are bills to be paid and schedules to adjust.  Yet for the most part when you know that’s the focal point of your day-to-day existence, it really helps keep you in check.  It’s not worth it if pursuing something and/or achieving it only serves to improve my situation.  I’ve heard people say if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.  Well this momma isn’t happy if my husband and children are sad.  It’s not about me and shouldn’t be.

Owen, Josie, Jacob and Katie from Grundy Center

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

We’ve all heard about parents turning around on a long car trip when they realize a favorite blanket or binky has been left at home.  Fortunately my kids have never used a pacifier and don’t have a favorite toy or blanket… but they sure make a lot of demands and, right or wrong, Mommy often tries to meet them.  Take the treat bowl, for example.  I started using a little bowl of goodies as an incentive to get Charlotte to cooperate when I’m rushing to get her dressed and out the door for school.  Now she starts asking for her treat bowl, along with requesting specific items, long before it’s time to get in the car.  Once I do get both children strapped in their carseats, I probably make 5-10 trips back and forth from the garage to the upstairs and downstairs inside before we can leave.  The most intense part of the process, concocting the treat bowl.  Along with two gummy children’s vitamins, depending on what’s in the cabinet, I’ll mix in a few Teddy Grahams, fruit snacks or Whales (like Goldfish).  If some candy is available, it better make the bowl.  Once I hand it over, Charlotte inspects the contents like an airport luggage screener!  Thomas is starting to take note of the fact he’s stuck with a milk bottle and she gets all the good stuff.  So I try to give him one or two pieces of something, much to her dismay.  And the car DVD player is still getting a lot of use… but now Charlotte insists Thomas watch The Wiggles while we play her Disney Playhouse CD in the car player.  He may be only 15 months, but he knows when the songs don’t match the video.  He squawks!  I don’t comply with every single request, but if it’s workable and doesn’t involve too much extra effort I’ll usually cave and make it happen.  The recent Halloween party we attended suggested on the invite that parents wear costumes.  Yet Charlotte did not want me to dress up.  So, I didn’t.  I explained this to one mom, adding, “Yes, a 3-year-old runs my life.”  She didn’t disagree.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

I foolishly thought on Friday, this will be the first weekend we’ve all been healthy in a while.  Big mistake.  Yesterday, Dave had to leave church at the start of the sermon to head to Urgent Care.  He had been having trouble breathing all morning and, coupled with his cough that won’t quit and his asthma, needed to be seen.  He returned to pick us up with two prescriptions.  One for the bronchitis he was treated for more than a week ago that won’t go away and Prednisone to open up his airway.  The poor guy has been on so many prescription drugs in the past two months, I’ve lost track.  His pill pile on the counter ebbs and flows.  He says his continuous cough doesn’t hurt and since he’s not running a fever, the doctor says he’s not contagious.  No chance I would have gotten it, anyway, last night.  We were separated in bed by 2 flower pillows, a Tinkerbell pillow, Bob the Builder pillow, heart pillow AND our 3-year-old.  Don’t even ask.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

I promise my obsession with writing about this won’t persist.  Just felt the need to add more in light of all the feedback I’ve received since yesterday.  As others have suggested, I can only do what I feel is right for my children and me.  Charlotte and Thomas did get the first dose of H1N1 vaccine this morning.  Hers was nasal mist, his an injection.  The nurse said I need to check back in 3 weeks or so to see if more vaccine has come in and schedule them for a second booster.  So who knows if the protection is even adequate for them at this point… but after what I observed at the doctor’s office, I am so glad I got them in.  Two children were in the waiting area wearing masks.  A young lady on the elevator with watery eyes had her face buried in her coat.  Someone said something about her scaring them and she said in a muffled voice, “I am so sick I don’t want these little kids to get it.”  Meanwhile, I’m a foot away from her with Thomas in my arms, Charlotte at my feet and a lady next to me with her infant daughter in a carrier.  Get me out of here, I thought!  On the way to work, a friend from church called to ask me to pray for her daughter.  Just under 2, she has been sick since Sunday with H1N1 and her fever is 103.6!   Yet because it’s not 104, her mom explained, she was turned away at the hospital.  Also told she could not be treated unless her symptoms persist for 14 days.  I talked to my first cousin in South Carolina last night.  Both her children, I think ages 7 and 3, had H1N1.  She said her son’s fever lasted for days.  She is also an elementary principal and said many of her students are being sent home with any flu symptoms, yet no fever.  The school nurse has followed up and all of them have H1N1.  Another woman told me today her daughter is in a local high school marching band.  At the football game last night, the band could not perform because 40 of the kids are sick with what’s assumed to be H1N1.  I can tell you from all the years I’ve covered seasonal flu, despite the media hype, this is the worst impact I have ever seen on young people.  Stay healthy, everyone!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

I know as well as anyone how much news coverage can get people stirred up about something.  There is no doubt the media has contributed to intense concern about the big, bad flu strain (we in Iowa call) H1N1.  The problem for me with two children under 4, I am personally involved.  And that is really starting to stress me out.  Up until yesterday, I was convinced everyone in our family should get the vaccine when available.  Then I hear from my husband that Dr. Oz, the heart surgeon made famous by Oprah who has his own medical program now, has come out against the H1N1 vaccine for children.  What!  So I made the mistake, perhaps, of posting my frustration about whether to vaccinate on Facebook.  A lot of people commented and now I’m even more conflicted.  The trouble is my kids’ pediatrician does have the H1N1 vaccine available for them.  In fact, appointments for Charlotte to get the mist-version and Thomas to get the injection are scheduled tomorrow morning.  Which means I have under 24 hours to go for it or back out.  At the moment, I am going ahead with the vaccines for them, for these reasons.  First, both children have had the traditional flu shot every year with no problem.  Secondly, I’ve been told by numerous sources the H1N1 vaccine is no different than the regular influenza shot, it just has the H1N1 strain.  Not to mention, my children have never been exposed to this new flu strain in the past so their bodies might not be able to fight it on their own as well as more common strains.  And they’re in preschool and daycare in addition to having a dad who works in a high school.  Perhaps the biggest reason, at 1 and 3, my children are in one of the higher risk groups for complications from H1N1.  And finally, a mom of Charlotte’s classmate happens to be a local pediatrician.  She told me Saturday her two young daughters just got the H1N1 vaccine last week.  She seemed relieved.  I think I will be, too.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

Doing weekly health stories, I interview a lot of people dealing with countless medical conditions.  Yesterday I spent time with a husband and wife BOTH diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.  The interesting thing, they seem really happy.  Married for 60+ years and in their mid-80s, they live in a nice assisted living facility apartment.  When asked how things are going health-wise, they both said fine.  But not being able to drive or not having as much energy were minor setbacks.  Amazing!  And people my age are upset about waiting at a red light.  (At least I am from time to time.)  Week after week, it never fails.  I meet and talk with people facing incredible challenges… Lou Gehrig’s, cancer recurrence, Parkinson’s… and I come away reevaluating my life.  If I’m “lucky”, I’ll end up living to be 80+ maintaining a positive attitude despite being unable to drive or to count on my mind to serve me well.  A recent motivational speaker in town said Darwin’s theory on longevity comes down to this:  adapt and adjust.  Clearly my story subjects this week have adopted that philosophy.  Who cares about a serious diagnosis if you can’t change the cards you’ve been dealt.  Hold hands, hang with your spouse on the couch and live out the rest of your life like you did the years that brought you to this point.  With thanks, grace and humility.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

Life with little ones makes you feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.  You wipe off the high chair tray and your kid’s nose a thousand times… pick up the stacking cups, wash the sippy cups and keep the children from spilling cups every single day.  Laundry never ends.  You have folded the Tinkerbell and dinosaur pajamas so many times, only to come across them the next day with crushed animal crackers and apple juice stains balled in the dirty clothes pile.  Some day they’ll be able to comb their hair, close their drawers and wipe their bottoms, adequately, on their own.  Until then, I’ll begin each day with the knowledge that what doesn’t kill me surely strengthens me and some day I’ll miss the snot stains on my pant legs and the baby who hangs there.  It’s 10:44pm.  I just finished the news.  Now I’m heading home to lie down, hit rewind and repeat it all tomorrow!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15

I’ve heard it a thousand times:  It’s not your weight that matters.  It’s inches.  But I can’t keep myself away from the scale.  There is definitely an emotional attachment.  Like a bad relationship you can’t get out of, some times you convince yourself it’s okay.  So there I was this afternoon, stepping on it after I worked out.  Of course I want to maximize the results!  The shocking part, today it’s my best friend.  I’ve lost 3 1/2 pounds since a week ago AFTER I went off the wagon big time all weekend.  The downward spiral started Saturday afternoon when I took Charlotte to a classmate’s Halloween party.  I was actually mad all the chocolate cupcakes were gone when I finally broke away from blabbing with other parents to get one.  Then, like Superman’s x-ray vision, I spotted it.  A big cupcake on Charlotte’s plate with only a couple dents in the thick chocolate frosting was waiting for me to devour.  Man it tasted so good!  So did the breadsticks dipped in alfredo sauce I had later that night at Olive Garden and the fresh-out-of-the-oven rolls and cinnamon butter last night at Texas Roadhouse.  (See above picture of Thomas asking for more rolls.)  I quit counting points when I stood over the treat table at the party.  Now I’m back to tracking them today with the guilt-free pleasure of knowing I got away with two bad days.  The scale doesn’t lie.  I’m sick.  I’m really sick.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 15