It happens in cycles for me. I can go for a long stretch, months at a time, successfully keeping things together. Sure I have my days, but self-control and responsibility pretty much reign. Then things fall apart and I find myself in front of my computer when I should be napping, irritated that the polish on my real nails has already chipped from a Saturday manicure. The inside of our house looks like a giant snow globe that someone shook and left lying on its side. My hair is a matted mess as I have not washed it since Sunday morning and the kids have wrestled their snotty noses in it for two days. I did not shower yesterday because I was home sick with a pounding sinus headache and dizziness. I slept with Thomas on the couch from 1am-3:45am as he is recovering from the severe cold and sinus crap he gave me. And his rattling cough is not improving which could lead him back to the doctor tomorrow after a weekend visit found nothing seriously wrong. Did I mention I have been eating giant pieces from a red velvet cake Dave bought at HyVee? I asked him to get a dessert. It’s my fault. I set the stage for my own undoing. Christmas cards are on the kitchen counter that I could be addressing right now. Presents are boxed up in the closet that I could be wrapping right now. Instead, I have been staring out of the window at a tractor and two big trucks hauling snow from a giant pile. Somehow I will get it together and smile on the news set come 5 o’clock.
Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 17
This post was written by tthomas on December 15, 2009
Oh, the joys of motherhood! I find myself doing the same kinds of things, although my children are growen. I tend to keep things really looking pretty good around the house, and gradually clutter starts to apear and pile up, until it gets so bad I can’t stand it anymore and then I get going and clean. Then the cycle starts over again.
CALGON….Take me away!!!! If only it were as easy as closing (and locking) the bathroom door!!! The fact that you know you WILL get it together again is half the battle. My house looks like I’m moving…boxes of Christmas stuff setting everywhere, remnants of last weeks “under the sink” repair project still setting out and then there’s the dishes from the gremlins that snack overnight (they can’t be all mine?)! The computer and the TV are serious drawbacks for me…I know it but I’m still drawn to them for hours at a time. Then I kick myself for “wasting” my evenings. It’s a vicious cycle. At least I live alone…I was probably better when I had someone underfoot.
We all have those times, Tara, so don’t feel alone. But especially cut yourself some slack during this time of year. The Christmas season everything feels out of control! Happy holidays to your family!
Go Tara, Go Tara, Go Tara Go!! (to the tune from “Little Old Lady from Pasedena) ha, ha!! Music on my iPod usually breaks me out of these ruts. If you can’t put the head phones on, ask for a docking station for Christmas so you can play your iPod “outloud”. Get better soon and have a wonderful Christmas!!
I have a deceased friend who used to say, “And this, too, shall pass.” Keep smiling! I’ll be watching.
Mary
Tahera, Have you ever thought you may be suffering from depression?
Don’t sweat it! Enjoy the cuddle time with your sick baby and when all are feeling better you will be amazed how quickly you get everything back in shape. Mom’s all have days when we feel like just letting everything go. And I think God provides those days for us to recharge. Focus on getting your baby healthy again, and the rest will fall into place.
If it helps, it APPEARS that you have it all together! Those of us working moms can ooze professionalism and confidence when we need to,right? Behind the scenes might be a different story!
hey – relax. today is today . . . tomorrow is tomorrow. Worry about today today, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. One day at a time.
You know what? For probably ten years now we have not sent “christmas cards” until January. We don’t even worry about it anymore or try. We send a “new years letter” in January – tat we make ourselves with some pictures included in it (we do it on a mac with iWork) sometimes it’s even been February we send it. We have a stack of Christmas cards from others we haven’t even opened yet this year! (Maybe this even makes ours more unique and “read” since it doesn’t come with the usual giant stack of ones in December? )
But I decided, especially this year, that I’m just NOT going to let all the crap/rush/sickness/and supposed “priorities and pressures” of the holiday season get in the way and ruin it for me. I’m sick of that happening, and mostly because of things I think I “have to do” (like christmas cards, wrapping presents, etc.) and most of them things I “think” I have to do for others or to make impressions upon others. I’m just so NOT going there anymore. I want to live my life more real and more honestly than that. And to boot – like what have I done to truly “serve” anyone as jesus told us to do all year long? The poor? Widows? Elderly? I’d rather worry about those things and my piece of mind and let go of all the other “stuff.”
Matthew 6:27-29
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
Matthew 6:25
That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?
Matthew 6:31-33
So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
This is a great message that John Ortberg, who is a renown author and who I worked with at Willow Creek for many years, gave as a message and was also picked up as an article (and maybe part of one of his books) a few years ago. He talks about his need to “ruthlessly eliminate hurry” from your life. Well worth reading. Especially around this time of year. http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/currenttrendscolumns/leadershipweekly/cln20704.html
btw – those verses I quoted were from this article I found which is very good too. No way I’d have all of those verses off the top of my head!
http://christianity.about.com/od/whatdoesthebiblesay/qt/reasonnot2worry.htm
Amen, John! Thank you for the wisdom and insight, not just for Tara but for all of us. I’m sure she appreciates it and it’s a reminder for us all.
Hang on Tara! I was feeling like you last week with all to do for the holidays and my daughter’s birthday to prepare for. I just took a deep breath and took one thing at a time. The birthday party was a success! The cards got mailed on Monday. Now I just need to bake and wrap gifts. I hope you can put a good Christmas movie on the TV and RELAX, write Christmas cards or wrap gifts! By the way, you looked great on the news last night and not even you hair looked matted!
Smile!
We enjoy watching you!!!
Kathy
“The inside of our house looks like a giant snow globe that someone shook and left lying on its side.” I love that analogy! The house will be clean and in a matter of minutes the “snow globe” is shaken by my husband and 2 energetic girls.
“Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.” I guess it is up to us to figure out the important things, and not let others do that for us. This is a quote from http://www.StoryPeople.com. I have this on a key chain with my work keys to remind me. Some days I have to read it several times a day. It holds true in every aspect of your life. It is a great website that I go to for a little perspective every now and then when I am feeling overwhelmed. (I think most moms, whether working outside the home or inside the home, feel this way occassionally, for me it got worse with each child – it takes longer to get your groove back and then you loose it again more often). Hang in there!