Questions on my mind

What happens when Charlotte is old enough to figure out all the words Mommy and Daddy spell when they talk? 

Did Anthony from The Wiggles get a nose job and does Murray wear a wig?

Since they’re off the bottle, are my kids getting enough calcium?

If Charlotte asks me to get a babysitter, are her parents boring?

How long will it take Thomas to bust a hole in his new blow-up jumper?

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 30, 2010

Toy Test

It’s 12:51 this Thursday morning.  Dave and I just finished putting together one of Thomas’ birthday gifts–a trampoline with handles that has interactive games when you jump on it!  Customer reviews on-line warned its assembly was tough.  I am always up for a challenge, but a late night doll house construction this past Christmas and a motorized truck two birthdays ago for Charlotte shook my confidence a bit.  The real reason I so willingly tackle these toy tests is because I know Dave will be right there with me.  I figure out the manual, and through extensive spatial reasoning God blessed women with, tell Daddy what goes where and how to attach it.  He is the strength behind the operation.  I once put a bed frame together without him and it nearly collapsed upon use.  I am convinced how a couple handles ‘s these often high stress, clandestine birthday and holiday undertakings is a reflection of many aspects of their relationship.  At times I get impatient and snappy. Other times Dave is in such a hurry he nearly strips the screws or breaks the plastic parts.  But in the end we display mutual respect and understanding.  “Honey, I’m sorry but I just realized we put the engine on wrong and you’ll have to take off the hood.”  Yes, even ladies some times screw up the directions.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 29, 2010

An Ode to Bald Men

When I met Dave in 1998, he had hair… a lot of it.  Actually he pretty much had a mullet after years of being married to someone who did not want him to grow it out.  I liked the look, even with his hair thinning on top.  Then the balding pattern moved to front and center and Dave’s sister pointed out that the hairless path was starting to form a racing stripe on his forehead.  Having heard so many people say if you shave your head it won’t grow back, I was reluctant for him to break out the razor.  How wrong I was.  When I eventually moved to Iowa and he came to visit, we decided he should go for it.  My first thought was to visit a black-owned barber shop.  I grew up with so many African-Americans in Peoria I knew a black barber would have the experience with a razor Dave would need to avoid cuts, bumps and other skin irritation.  Let me tell you when the barber carefully took off every last hair on his head, Dave looked incredible.  I thought he was hot before, but with the shaved head I was even happier about marrying him. :)   Now I don’t have to watch his hairline change as he ages.  He just shaves it all off every day and goes with it.  Of course two things are in his favor, he has a nice-shaped head for being bald and he usually has some sort of tan.  That helps.  On a regular basis I see guys who are in the mode Dave was in for quite some time.  They are holding on to the side hair or patchy stuff on the back and they can’t/won’t/are afraid to let it go.  I am telling you, ladies with men in their lives doing this or guys who know who you are, SHAVE the hair off.  All of it.  You will not regret it.  Yes it may actually be more work to keep your scalp “clean” but, believe me, you will shave years off your life when you do.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 28, 2010

Nap Gap

It never occurred to me, until recently, that Charlotte might outgrow naps before her brother.  I always assumed they would both need naps (like Mommy) for the foreseeable future.  Now I get that Sissy might be better off going to bed a bit earlier and sleeping in later.  But her brother, still the early riser, needs a 2-3 hour nap DAILY or let the crabbing begin!  It’s a tough call.  The days when we let Charlotte “skip” her cuddle–as we call them–she ends up being overtired the next day and we pay the price.  But then she goes to bed much later than we’d like.  It doesn’t help that we let her watch a kid’s show or two… at least she’s starting out the night in her own bed is my rationale.  So to nap or not to nap?  That is the question for my 4-year-old.  Someone told me they no longer take naps in kindergarten, so maybe we should start phasing them out.  When I headed out the door for work this afternoon, I looked in her room to discover Charlotte on the floor in her sleeping bag with her head in the bottom of the doll house.  At least she was sleeping.  I think.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 27, 2010

Feasting in Vegas

Not sure if I’ve mentioned Dave and I like to go to Vegas for one main reason:  buffets!  Just as the city lures gamblers with free drinks and hotel rooms, it got me under its spell once again with the meal deal of a lifetime.  Sign up for a free casino club card and for the low price of $39.99 you can make unlimited trips to 7 buffets for 24 hours.  Of course we could not pass it up and made it to 5 of them!  Even got up early so we could go to breakfast then brunch at two different casinos.  I know, you know, I have a problem.  So it was a gluttonous good time but a guilt-ridden return to the scale.  When the 24 hours were up, I insisted we go to a restaurant I thought existed only in New York where frozen hot chocolate is the must-have dessert.  Would you believe lady luck was on my side when I discovered a coupon for a free one in my tourist booklet? 

Dave had the steak sandwich:

Spending a long weekend with my step-daughter, Taylor, and her friend was also sweet.  I lost of total of $5 when I played a penny slot for 10 minutes to kill time while Dave talked to a woman at the front desk.  Accidentally hit 20 lines and thought it was a 20-cent bet.  Stick to the food, Tara.  You would make a terrible gambler.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 26, 2010

She’s okay with strip clubs?

A male friend of mine recently told me about a good friend of his who spends a lot of money at strip clubs.  The guy has been married for years with children and supposedly his wife knows about his visits and is okay with it.  I’m not buying it.  My friend went on to explain two things that are still bothering me.  First, he said, the guy’s wife has (in so many words) let herself go.  Secondly, his estimation is that 80% of men cheat.  So, following this reasoning, his friend is justified in frequenting strip clubs because his wife has put on a few pounds and it’s not like he’s having an affair.  I fired back with the argument that just because a majority of married men may stray doesn’t excuse other inappropriate behavior.  I went on to ask if this guy is in great shape?  No, he’s not.  Maybe instead of focusing on his wife’s body and her alleged flaws, HE needs to hit the gym!  This is all just one more reminder to me that little boys, especially, are in trouble.  From now until adulthood, Thomas will be bombarded with so many airbrushed and sexually suggestive images of women it scares me.  I knew we were in trouble when the Playboy logo started appearing on clothes in the junior’s department!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 21, 2010

You’re getting the hang of this parenting thing when…

You can change a diaper while your child is standing up.

You can go back to the main menu screen, scroll down to the right spot and hit the play button on the car DVD player simply reaching your hand back and not even looking.

You know exactly where the toy and treat aisles are in every grocery store in case of emergency.

You can carry on an adult conversation while bouncing a baby in your arms, holding a bottle and watching your older child all at the same time.

You can clean out your children’s ears with baby Q-tips, rub lotion all over them and comb their hair as they squirm on a stool in the bathroom sucking toothpaste off battery-operated Bratz and Lion King toothbrushes.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 20, 2010

Any given Sunday

We came back from the church service to pick up the kids in Sunday School and discovered a tear-stained, anti-social little boy sitting on one of the chairs.  It was Thomas.  He had a bad morning.  Of course it broke our hearts to think we were in the sanctuary for an hour-and-a-half while he was miserable.  I’m sure countless times in daycare or with babysitters he’s been unhappy… but I never knew about it or had the ability to get there.  And when it comes to church childcare, it takes only a couple minutes to head down the hall and do a quick check to see if your child’s okay.  I don’t blame the volunteers.  It IS a blessing that Dave and I can attend a service alone and know our kids are well-cared for in children’s church.  Since Thomas is still “our baby”, he needs us more than Charlotte.  I told Dave when he suggested I stop carrying our son at the waterpark when he whines for me to hold him that next year this won’t happen.  And since he’s my youngest I don’t mind babying him a bit since it will all be over in a few months.  So for the time being we will be checking on him during the sermon.  Some day he’ll be like Sissy and not even care we’re gone.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 19, 2010

Friend’s cheating husband

A while back I wrote about my good friend who discovered her husband was having an affair in a text on his cell phone.  A lot has happened in her life since that moment… some for better, some for worse.  The bad news first.  Counseling failed miserably, so when her husband moved out she eventually had to sell their condo she loved across the street from the ocean.  The two dogs they shared are too much to handle for a single mom with two children under 5, so her parents (who live hours away) pretty much keep them full time.  Now for the upside.  She found another place to live, also by the beach.  And amazingly Jimmy Kimmel’s beach house is right next door.  It’s California, afterall.  A new man is in her life.  He lives in Las Vegas.  A week from today Dave and I will be having dinner with them when she flies in to meet us in Vegas for a long weekend to celebrate our 5-year wedding anniversary a couple weeks early.  One other important positive.  She told me for the first time in her life everything is not planned out and she’s okay with it.  Her road map of being married to her husband and raising their children together for life took a huge detour she never anticipated.  But she is trying to find a new normal for the little ones and for her sanity.  I can’t wait to see her.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 16, 2010

Clash of the parenting styles

The plus to Dave and the kids being out of school is how much time we spend together during the summer.  The negative is how much time we spend together.  Seriously, it can be challenging when Mommy and Daddy are both in charge with two totally different approaches to parenting.  I’ve written about it before.  We do always address it when issues arise.  Dave insists I am not consistent.  Can Charlotte climb on the counter or not?  My answer is not everything is black and white.  My other defense to being too lax is that I try to overcompensate for Daddy being too strict.  I know both are poor excuses.  So earlier this week we agreed, again, I need to step up the discipline and he needs to back off a little.  It makes sense.  No one is wrong.  Both of us need improvement.  That’s one thing we keep getting right–we communicate.  Sure at times more heated than others, but always calmly agreeing to equally make an effort to be better parents.  Charlotte said to us in the car yesterday something like when you guys are mad about something you keep talking about and figure it out.  It was a more meaningful moment for Mommy than she could ever grasp at this stage.  To think, at 4, our daughter already gets that her parents will have disagreements but they will work it out and try to resolve the situation.  I told her that, yes, mommies and daddies fight some times but we love each other so much that we will do whatever it takes to get along.  She seemed pleased by an explanation I know she understands.  And that is a lesson I don’t need to vocalize as much as live each day.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 24

This post was written by Tara on July 15, 2010