The title of this entry is a bit sarcastic.  Seems some people like to compliment you for CORRECTING something you didn’t know was a problem.  The following was sent to me recently on monogrammed stationery:

Dear Tara,

     Since one time I mentioned I was not a fan of long straggly hair which seems to be all the fad–It’s only fair I write to tell you how much I like your new fluffy curled back style.  It’s amazing what a difference a nice hair change can do.

Here’s looking at you!

(I am withholding her name to protect the innocent. )

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

When I walked through the door last night, the first thing I heard was a high-pitched, whiny wail.  It was Charlotte upset Daddy had asked her to stay in her seat and finish the burrito SHE wanted before any ice cream.  So began an evening of crying and crabbing, pouting and snotting.  That’s how it goes some times in Parentville.  And these scenes are never pretty.  Before we got them to bed, again in full whine-mode, Charlotte had like 2 time outs and Thomas battled it out over the change to pajamas.  I swear they’re lucky head injuries don’t result from all the back-arching, head-flopping and leg kicking that goes on with these two.  What doesn’t set one off will trigger the other… and when one’s out-of-control, it often sends the other into similar behavior.  I don’t even care if it’s all about getting attention.  It stresses Daddy out BIG TIME, then that bothers me and I over-correct by trying to immediately diffuse the situation.  Or I just ignore it.  At one point Dave said something about slitting his throat.  I get that because at times I’ve mentioned jumping off the nearest bridge.  Fortunately our flippant remarks are purely sarcasm.  And a way to release some steam.  Your kids can push your buttons like no other!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

Mommy:  Why do you love me?

Charlotte:  Because you’re a good mommy.

M:  Are you a good daughter?

C:  Yes!

M:  Do you like having a little brother?

C:  Uh, huh.

M:  Why?

C:  Because he’s a little boy. 

M:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

C:  A rock star.

M:  Will you still come visit me?

C:  Yeah.

M:  What is your favorite thing about being 4?

C:  Usually playing with my friends at school.

M:  What makes you happy?

C:  Having a good mom.

M:  That’s nice.  I love you.

Addison in her mommy's dress, sent from a blog reader

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

Sunday we had our first class at church in a new parenting series called Effective Parenting in a Defective World.  Dave and I got a lot out of the hour and fifteen minutes.  The main message in this session dealt with God’s dream versus the world’s dream for your child.  It made a lot of sense.  Instead of worrying about your child getting good grades, excelling in sports or extracurricular activities, going to college and landing a great job after graduation, the argument was presented that your aim should be to raise children who are holy–not happy.  Sure it’s great if the latter happens… but instead of focusing on all things worldly and materialistic WE THINK will make them feel good about themselves, try steering them toward a relationship with Christ that will produce the kind of joy in their lives another toy or t-shirt won’t.  Another memorable point I keep thinking about is the principle of modeling.  Studies show our children will mirror what we do more than they’ll act upon anything we tell them to do or something they read in a book or hear in school.  So I need to take a good, hard look in the mirror and decide what’s good and bad about the example I’m setting… and do something about the actions I don’t want my kids to repeat.  This class is a good first step.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

On my tricycle

Charlotte on the same tricycle

I regret what I recently told my good friend from college who is single and has no children.  “You’re not busy if you don’t have kids,” I declared when we were discussing our other longtime college friend who is terrible about staying in touch.  The friend I was talking to was upset that this other child-free friend didn’t acknowledge her birthday, something she has always done in the past.  Without thinking it through, I made the statement that basically lumps the woman I was talking to in the same category–having loads of free time since kids aren’t in the equation.  Speaking for myself, the theory does apply.  Pre-kids I had so much more blank space on the calendar to commit to non-profit work, exercise, leisurely meals out and uninterrupted movie viewing on the couch.  Not to mention, I had the mental capacity AND brain cells to juggle dates and events in my head and act upon them… like a close friend’s birthday.  Now I’m lucky if a Facebook reminder will even be noticed!  My point is that children aren’t just on the priority list, they dictate the make-up and structure of every single thing you execute.  As it should be, of course.  But I have to laugh at the 20-somethings I work with who constantly complain about how tired they are or how much schedule changes are messing up their personal plans.  Enjoy it now, I always tell them.  Once you have kids it’s no longer about you.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

My children laughing together

Dave’s voice on the other end of the phone

The garbage truck emptying another load of soiled diapers

Music piped through the speakers on an ice cream truck

The scrape of a snowplow’s shovel against my street

“Mommy” & “Honey”

The toilet flush when Charlotte’s in the bathroom

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

It’s easy if you’re a parent, at least one like me, to complain about a lot of things that overwhelm you.  I cannot hide that fact if you read through a ton of my blog entries.  Being a mom was not something I fell into naturally.  Sure I was a fast learner (you have to be!)… but I was not one of those teenagers who loved babies and always wanted to get on the floor and play with little cousins, so I did not grow up to be a mommy who comfortably keeps it all together.  I have my regular struggles.  Yet days like today when things go so smoothly, days that some times seem so few and far between, well they are ones I need to celebrate.  Thomas slept in until 6:40am, albeit after he cried in his crib in the middle of the night and was taken downstairs to sleep with me in the basement queen.  Charlotte woke up in the best mood, picked out an outfit we both agreed with on the first try, helped get her brother bathed and even gave him a pep talk on the way to preschool about how she and Mommy would drop him off in his classroom so she could head upstairs to work on things for Mommy & Daddy at her concert.  (She meant “conference” and I got that right away since I speak the language of 4 and 2-year-olds.)  A car repair was free today because the part is still under warranty.   Enough people signed up for my At Work Weight Watchers meeting to begin the 12-week series.  And the icing on this mid-week cake, my parents have offered to take the kids for 3 nights in a couple weeks.  Let the Mommy and Daddy alone time planning begin now!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

1) Why a fast food restaurant with an indoor children’s play area would not have a changing table in its restroom.  Thomas always poops in his diaper at these places.

2) Why it’s a state law to wear a seatbelt, even in the backseat, but a motorcycle driver needs no protection.  I can’t take another news story about an Iowan killed on a motorcycle. 

3) Why women are so much more critical than men.  The number of negative emails I get from my own gender far outnumbers any critical ones I receive from guys.

4) Why boobs shrink so much faster than bottoms when women lose weight.  Try nursing two babies to really experience this phenomenon.

5) Why drivers stay in the passing lane on the highway and interstate.  I hate to admit that the majority of violators I’ve witnessed are women.  Pull over and let the rest of us pass!

P.S.-I do understand why I got a speeding ticket this past week.  See #5 for an explanation.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

I should have known something was up when I had a dream involving water.  Last night, like so many weekends, we were all very tired.  It was after 9 and I was excited the kids seemed to enjoy watching The Sound of Music–a show I love and stumbled upon flipping through the channels.  Dave convinced me it was time to go to bed, so I stayed on the couch with Thomas to eventually carry him up to his crib when he fell asleep.  Charlotte laid down in our bed with Daddy.  We were all out by 9:40pm, Charlotte between us.  Hours later I recall some bizarre scene in my head involving my closest cousin falling off a spiral staircase in some water below as we were part of a tour group at a lakeside resort.  At that moment I realized the water in my dream was actually in bed as I reached down and felt my underwear and the sheet around me were soaked!  For a second, I actually thought I peed the bed.  Then remembered my 4-year-old, who drinks a half gallon of juice and chocolate milk daily and sleeps practically on top of me, was to blame.  I rolled out of bed, peeled off my wet t-shirt and underwear, wiped off with a towel, put on clean clothes and climbed into Charlotte’s bottom bunk.  She and Daddy, still asleep, remained in a sea of pee.  I was too tired to care.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26

Yesterday when Dave walked in to pick up the kids at school/daycare, Thomas shouted out “Hi, Dave!”  Yes, you know your children are growing up when you’re on a first-name basis.  After a short reprieve, Thomas and I were back in the basement bedroom again the past two nights.  He, like his sister, wants to be touching the whole time and/or lying on top of you.  So at times it’s like sleeping next to a fish out of water, flopping and flipping his arms and legs over me.  I recall awaking at Lord only knows what early hour this morning to look over and mistake Thomas for Charlotte.  It was so confusing.  I thought how did she end up down here and where’s her brother?  Then I realized my son is just that big these days.  He is long and lean like Sissy.  Speaking of, she hugged him the other day to demonstrate that he’s getting taller.  But she claims little brother will always be smaller.  He’s already putting her in her place, though.  Whenever she asks us if she can do something in front of Thomas, he says “Nope!”   It’s hard not to laugh.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 26