At what point should children start putting away their own clothes? And I will I be able to live with poorly folded stretch pants and pajama drawers far from neatly folded? Those are the questions facing parents of little people who we think need to take on some responsibility but who drive us to the point of wanting to do it ourselves when their effort is lackluster. My mom would end up re-cleaning my sister’s room because her idea of it was far from the standard upheld in the rest of the house. That’s the conundrum. How does someone like me who, at times, is irritated when the towel isn’t hanging straight or the blanket isn’t evenly folded let go and let my 5-year-old and 3-year-old do their best to organize? So far only Charlotte has been charged with picking up her room when it gets to the point of mimicking tornadic activity. It’s been easier to get action when we threaten to take away a Daisy meeting or other fun event she’s looking forward to without compliance. I put away all the hanging stuff, like shirts and dresses, and she handles the underwear, socks, jeans & stretch pants, skirts and pajamas that all go in bins or on a shelf unit. As for picking up the rest of the room, it ends up being a stack and shove job–but acceptable in that the carpet is once again visible. What’s with these kindergartners being hoarders? I can walk in there with a garbage bag and come out with enough paper scraps and trash to fill a recycle bin, I swear.
Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 44
This post was written by Tara on February 16, 2012
Giving a child the proper credit for a job well done will build their self esteem. They don’t have to know that you go back in later and restraighten a drawer or shelf. Just make sure you do it on the sly. I used to have my boys stack the dishwasher and I would run it before I went to bed. Needless to say, I would restack it myself after they went to bed. I remember as a young teen, my mom would leave me a list of chores and I would accomplish them by the time expected and sometimes do more than was expected but my mother only focused on what I didn’t do correctly or as well as she would have liked. It played havoc on my self-esteem and how I looked for favor in my later life.
Tara, one of the biggest issues I had with my son’s T-shirts was the fact that he has close to 200 of them (I know because I counted them before he graduated from high school) and they would always topple over because of bulk around the sleeve area. A friend taught me the “Martha” way (can probably view a video online) of folding so the shirt would look like the displays in a store and stack more neatly. There’s also a product called Flip-n-Fold which kids would think fun (video on this also & stores do use this product).
If you don’t want to go either route for teaching kids how to fold and still not happy with the way the room looks, commend them for their efforts and SHUT the door. Still works for me, because really–what can you do with 200 t-shirts? Ugh!
Good luck!
My daughter is in second grade now and for the first time ever she actually went to her toyroom and cleaned her “craft drawer” out and cam out with a garbage bag full of stuff like I always do. I think there is hope. If they see their parents do it long enough, they have to come around. I should mention that her “craft Drawer” is full again. LOL
GOOD LUCK!
As the Mom of a 21-year-old and 16-year-old, I can honestly say it never gets easy looking at a mess! My college-age daughter will clean her bedroom, and the next day you would literally never know it had been cleaned. I will say, if you leave it alone long enough, they eventually get tired of the mess and just start pitching and sorting. I have always tried to have the rule with my kids that if they want to live like pigs in their bedrooms, that’s their problem. But…they won’t leave their stuff all over the house for everyone else to look at. Good luck with this long challenge!
Tara, I am SO with you on this!!
I have a Kindergartener and a 3 year old as well (both girls) and they share a room. We just tackled the job of cleaning (REALLY cleaning) their room and I came out with a full trash bag of papers, toys they had created from paper, pieces from toys that have disappeared, etc., etc. I couldn’t believe it! But you are right … it’s acceptable when you can see the carpet again. 
I also made a rule that they only thing they can keep under their beds is their slippers. “Aw, mom!” They thought they could get away without cleaning out what was under their beds. 
Well, the rooms in our house are empty and the “kids” are out of college and on their own.
One was a neat freak and the other was a mess maker. The rule was if the clothes weren’t in the basket, they didn’t get washed! That worked. Yes, together we would drag a garbage bag in that room and toss, toss, toss. You have to pick your battles.
Oh I’m so very Thankful those days are over for me…and now the paybacks have begun for my daughter with her 7 yr. old.
I hear about it and all I can say is: “Now you understand why I was so grouchy?”
Good Luck!
Amelia Bedilia’s book Jillian Jigs. It’s a must have!
“Jillian, Jillian, Jillian Jigs your room looks like it’s been lived in by pigs”
So fun to read and so helpful!