Let me apologize up front. Based on the feedback I got in the newsroom from sharing today’s blog topic, I know this will upset some of you. I am sorry I have to be honest about something: raising a dog is really nothing like raising a child. Before you plot your first comment, you need to know that I have done both-for a few years. Dave is a huge dog lover. When I met him he had two (poodle and Pomeranian/poodle mix). We got another one together (miniature Yorkie). I went from avoiding dogs as a child, as I’ve mentioned I’m allergic, to building up such an immunity and love for the trio that they slept in my bed. But I never equated having a puppy plus two older dogs with having kids. Granted, both like chew toys, have pee-pee and poo-poo accidents and slobber a lot… but I am so tired of hearing people say things like, ”Well I don’t have any kids so I’m going to try a dog first and see how that goes”… really? Get back to me when the dog needs braces, wants to borrow your car and goes to college. The point is that I actually find it rather insulting to suggest that a four-legged friend is as important as a two-legged addition. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I loved my family’s cats and Dave’s and my dogs as much as the next person. The only time I ever felt homesick in my life was when our longtime cat, Patches, died when I lived across the country. But I cannot imagine having the same love and devotion for a pet that I have for my children. It’s just not the same. I bring this up because not one of the women I work closely with is a mom. I wasn’t either at their age. But I never acted like my responsibility to take care of the animals in my life was even close to the obligations of the mothers I knew. One more thing and then I won’t bring this up (for a while, at least)… some of my co-workers bring their dogs to work on rare occasions like holidays or before weekend trips. I have told them and I will share it here: I am supposed to be okay with them letting their dog run around but if I brought one of my children to work people would have a problem. You know they would! “What? Tara is changing that diaper in here?” (Of course there is no changing table to speak of in the restrooms.) You’re right. It’s okay for your dog to run around licking himself and, in one case, peeing by my desk but don’t let a newborn diaper come near me. Okay, I’m done!
Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 8
This post was written by tthomas on March 13, 2009
I’m with you….animals are wonderful to have and enjoy and yes they can be work but they are not children. If I have to choose between my cat and my granddaughter, there is no question that my granddaughter wins every time! I understand the love, the devotion that you put into pets but until you are a parent of the two-legged species, have spent a sleepless night while teeth come through stubborn gums, reason with a teenager, or discipline an errant teenager, one has no right judging my feelings on this topic. We have a doctor here at work that actually changed his work schedule so he could be at the vet’s office during an emergency surgery procedure. He and his partner were both there. Over the top–I think so but I’m sure, like your newsroom, are those who disagree! I hope the “mom” or “dad” of the errant puppy who peed cleaned up after the little stinker!
I couldn’t have said this better myself. As a mother of one and also a pet owner, I find it insulting that some would even classify pets and children in the same category- did you know some actually treat them like they are actual “members” of a family and give them first names and middle names? They are pets for a reason, they aren’t small children!
I agree Tara, I really have to wonder about people that dress their pets up in clothing. I have several pets (a zoo actually) and I do love them, they are my fur babies. I dont dress them, I dont take them everywhere. You can love a pet so much that when they pass over the Rainbow bridge that it does hurt as much as losing a family member or friend. Put as far as bringing them into work, not so much.
Should have spell-checked first
Tara,
As you know, I respect your opinion, but kindly disagree with you. I hope people will take the time to read my blog for another perspective on this topic. I think each person feels a certain way for a reason. I hope people will try to understand why I do have such a close connection with my dog. It is very personal to me as well. Thanks.
Bless you Tara!! I know of a few people who treat their animals far better than they do people. I am NOT an animal lover and I do feel bad about that but it’s just not in me. And I don’t want to see any animal suffer but they are animals after all.
Your comments make you sound like one of the condescending mothers who tells people without children “just wait until you have kids and you’ll understand.” I met my fair share of those people before I had a child and their attitude was annoying to say the least.
I am the same person I was before I had children - a nurturer who respects living creatures, of the 2 AND 4 legged variety.
It seems to me that your coworker(s) are nurturing people who didn’t need to give birth in order to accept the responsibility of caring for another creature who is completely dependent on them.
Don’t belittle or judge them - learn from them. I am sure that they will be great mothers someday - if they choose to be. And if not, there are plenty of animals in need of good homes who would be extremely lucky to become part of their family.
This is a subject that makes me as crazy as breastfeeding, and I didn’t do so well not offending people with that one:) As the daughter of a mother who loves her animals more than she ever did her children, I can only say that it sickens me when people treat animals as if they’re human. I find it disgusting. In our home, dog poop on the floor was acceptable. Anything animals did was “cute.”
With all the children and adults in the world who could use love and affection, people slather it on animals, along with their money, medical treatment and clothing. I will never, ever, ever understand it.
In addition, considering your allergies it’s an issues for people to bring pets into the office. Pretending to be the mother of something is not the same as actually being the mother. It’s ridiculous.
Yep, not politically correct with that one either.
I understand the love that people have for their pets. I remember the day my mom called to say my childhood dog had died. My husband thought something horrible had happened to my sister because I was so distraught over the phone call. On another note I have three children and do not understand the comparison. If I were to leave my toddler home alone someone would hopefully call the DHS because she would be in horrible danger but I can leave my golden doodle in the yard all night and I have yet to have a social worker visit me. Animals can fend for themselves (for the most part). If we don’t take care of them they will find food, water and shelter. An infant, toddler or pre-schooler would be helpless. The only similarity is the fact that both pets and children can make a big mess out of a room that you thought was mess-proof. It is just not the same.
I have read your blog for a while now and some things you write just plain shock me…I don’t always agree with your opinions and this one especially rubbed me the wrong way. My dogs are just as important to me, if not more than a lot of people, kids included. ANGELA: No, most animals can not fend for themselves. Without me daily taking care of my little dogs, they would die, or if left out side, be killed by larger prey.
Dogs require nuturing and love, just like people, the lack that, by humans, causes mean dogs. So your co-workers bring their pets in before a trip…and yes, maybe they have an accident what kid doesn’t (how long did Charlotte pee her self during the potty training faze — maybe those wet pants offended other people around her!).
In my experience most pets I’ve been around behave better than your kids - at times they sound bratty and unruly to me! My dogs don’t run through stores, hit, bite, slap or push other dogs or people. In fact the only crime they are capable of comitting, is loving too much, if that’s a crime. That wonderful behavior is due in part - to their human, giving raising them and teaching them to be a wonderful pet.
Your blog says that raising a dog is nothing like raising a child –your wrong. Both need love, nuturing, support, help learing basic skills of life.
I don’t think you’ve ever really felt love for an animal. When my dog of 19 years died…I sobbed harder and longer than any one person that had passed one. Dogs (and most pets) give more unconditional love and devotion than many people.
Bottom line, I agree with Danielle, everyone feels a certain way for a certain reason.
Good job Tara, I agree with you. There was time before I had a child, that if my cat had died I would have had to take bearevement leave from work….ahh how the times have changed. As we still have that cat, she certainly takes the backseat, maybe the trunk to our daughter..lol. It’s not that you don’t love your animals any longer, but the love you have for a child isn’t even anywhere near the love of a child.
You should bring your child in once…write about it, I would love to hear
Well said! I agree!
Well Tara, we have one more thing in common. I love my horses, but they are not sitting at my kitchen table having supper with me!! It makes me mad when people think that pets are equal to children when they are not. That’s it for now.
Tara,
I usually love ready your blogs, but this one hit a little too close to my heart. Those of us who have pets know they can find food, water, shelter on their own, but we chose to give them more than the basics of life. Yes my husband & I treat our cats like our ‘children’ (feed them, vaccinate them, worry when they are sick, etc….)but we don’t call them our kids (we say our kittens), but we love them unconditionally and they love us unconditionally and from what parents have told me that is the kind of love they have for the children. Please don’t pass judgement on those of us who choose pets over children ~ they may be a reason.
Tara,
I have loved reading your blog up until this posting. I have a daughter the same age as Charlotte, so I have always loved reading your comments as they typically mirrored my own experiences. I haven’t always agreed with everything you’ve said, but I have respected your opinion. However, this posting has changed all of that. I will no longer read your blog, nor will I watch KWWL. I thought you were more repectful of other people, but instead you have taken advantage of your position by posting whatever you want with a complete disregard to others.
Hi Tara -
LOVE reading your blog!
I agree with what you are saying here - I am single, no kids, and have a puppy. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he is my child, but he’s my “buddy”. Being a single person and living alone, I like having him around and have received much love and enjoyment from him. He’s a helpless animal and so of course as his “buddy”, it’s my responsibility to make sure he eats, goes to the vet, and gets any necessary extra care. But I do agree with you in that I have never viewed him as my son - he’s my friend and I take care of him just as I would any other friend. I look forward to the day when I am blessed with children, and they can also share the dog and be his “buddies” too!
Keep the blogs coming!
”Well I don’t have any kids so I’m going to try a dog first and see how that goes”… really?” Really? Yes! If a person cannot feed a dog, take them for a walk, clean up their fesces, pee and vomit, care for them by taking them to the vet when needed or realize that they can’t just up and take a trip out of the country or out of state without having to either take the dog with them, kennel it, or find someone to watch it, how will they ever be able to handle the responsibility that comes along with having a child when having a child is ten times (or more) the responsibility as having a dog? I don’t agree that dogs and children are on the same level but I do agree that having a dog will give you a glimpse into what it will be like to have a child. If you’re not a good pet owner, I doubt you’re going to be a good parent; but if your love for your pet is more than you could have ever imagined, just think how much more intense that feeling will be when you have a child…..
I am glad to hear someone say this out loud!!
I agree with Shannon #16….
Totally agree with you Tara!
I agree with you Tara, I’m really not much of a dog or pet fan, but there is no comparring the two!
Your comment here is typical of the condescending mother who feels she is more important and more busy than anyone else because she chose to have 2 kids. Your exact words are the reason we chose to NOT have children until now, much later in life than most. Thanks for the posting. It has reminded me how NOT to be as a new mother.
P.S. Keep others in mind, too, when you blog. Some people are not fortunate enough to get pregnant and their “four-legged friends” are also the 4-legged additions,” much like your “2-legged additions.”
Oh my gosh!! People really get agitated don’t they? We just all need to realize we don’t all love animals but that does not make us “bad” people. Tara - this is YOUR blog! You say what you want. I have friends who totally adore their pets. I love these friends, they know I’m not an animal person but they love me too. This is life!!! We are all different!!! AND WE RESPECT EACH OTHER’S VIEWS!!!!
Seriously people! Sandy from Post 9 should be ASHAMED of heself!! How dare you make comments on Tara’s children, if you don’t like what Tara says fine but leave your opinions about her kids out of this. GROW UP!!
If your pets are as important as your kids then I believe you do have problems!! All those people who spend thousands of dollars on surgeries for their pets are crazy. Yes, I do have a dog and I love her too but NOT like I LOVE my kids/husband.
Wow–some people are so petty. So, you’re not going to watch KWWL anymore because someone is honestly stating their opinion? Wow. It’s like saying you’re not going to shop at ____ anymore because someone doesn’t like the store’s brand of OJ.
I’m going to be a FTM in June–and my opinion of Tara has changed so much since reading her blog. She is a real person not afraid of opening up personally and letting us into her heart and her views. I absolutely LOVE animals–and I can’t say that I anticipate feeling the same way about my child as I do about pets.
I have to agree with Amy that Sandy’s comments were an example of someone who’s completely unhinged. To make a comment about Tara’s children — unforgivable. To say this about dogs: “only crime they are capable of comitting, is loving too much, if that’s a crime” — you are clearly out of touch with reality. Many, many children have been bitten by dogs, hideous injuries, even grown people attacked & seriously harmed.
For those who sugggest pet ownership as preparation for children, I could not disagree more. I’ve done both & nothing about the two were remotely similar.
I have just read all the entries again for the 5th time and I am saddened to see a post that slams Tara saying she acts like she is the busiest mom in the world. Tara is a great mom!! She doesn’t act better than anyone. So CASEY if you feel that Tara acts more important and busier than you, well then she probably is. Everyone is better at some aspects of parenting than others, that is just the way life is. Get over it. Sorry if you don’t or can’t have children, God gives you what you can handle.
Tara,
Do not let the negative comments bring you down. I agree with comment #22 that if we were truly understanding the nature of blogging we would realize that this is your forum for YOUR opinion. I recently watched the movie “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” with my daughters and it struck me how close that movie mirrors your comments. Even the dogs in the movie were “thinking” how ridiculous it was to “dress them up”. I bet if we could know what are pets were thinking the majority of them would tell us that we need to treat them like pets NOT children.
I just chuckle at those that feel a need to set all us animals lovers and animal protectors strait.
You want kids, (I have a couple myself and they are kind humans due to their being raised with pets in the correct manner)great, take care of them don’t make them someone elses problem to deal with, you want pets, (got some of those too) great, take care of them for life and take care of them properly which means not on a chain or in a pen 24-7.
I have a doormat that says it all. “Pets Welcome, Children Need To Be On A Leash”. The way far to many people raise their kids anymore (obnoxious and self indulged or completely igonore) give me a dozen pets any day. And thanks KWWL for allowing pets at work, that’s AWESOME!
A wonderful reading for those whom (Tara) are confused as to why especially those whos pets are their children see these wonderful 4-legged creatures…. pets really can feel a void that no human can many times.
From time to time, people tell me, ‘lighten up, it’s just a dog,’
or, ‘that’s a lot of money for just a dog.’
They don’t understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for ‘just a dog.’
Some of my proudest moments have come about with ‘just a dog.’
Many hours have passed and my only company was ‘just a dog,’
but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by ‘just a dog,’
and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of ‘just a dog’ gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it’s ‘just a dog,’ then you will probably understand
phrases like ‘just a friend,’ ‘just a sunrise,’ or ‘just a promise.’
‘Just a dog’ brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust,
and pure unbridled joy.
‘Just a dog’ brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.
Because of ‘just a dog’, I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.
So for me and folks like me, it’s not ‘just a dog’ but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future,
the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
‘Just a dog’ brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away
from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that it’s not ‘just a dog’,
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being
‘just a man or woman.’
So the next time you hear the phrase ‘just a dog’
just smile…
because they ‘just don’t understand.’
Written by an unknown Doctor of Veterinary Medicine.
An “Ode” to Lyn, the woman who welcomes pets & puts children on leashes:
I am “just a nut.” I like dogs more than babies. I dress them up in clothing that costs more than some kids get to eat in a week. I adopt from the pound, not an orphanage. I spend big bucks & travel long miles to find just the right dog, one that looks exactly like all the other dogs of it’s breed & smells just the same.
I am “just a nut.” I don’t care that people have allergies and my dogs make them sick, even when those people are my children. Too bad, so sad. I like having dander in every room of my house, on every piece of furniture. I love dog hair in my cereal bowl and on my good coat, on my car’s seats & embedded in all my carpeting.
I am “just a nut.” We don’t need a dog house, our home is a dog house. Don’t bother to visit if you don’t like my dog licking you, jumping on you, pawing at you, sniffing your butt, looking longingly at your food.
I am “just a nut.” It doesn’t matter that sometimes dogs puke on my bed or poop on my floor. Their pee dries up just like water. I love walking in the cold & heat behind a four-legged creature so I can pick up the droppings. But often I don’t, I just leave it for others to appreciate.
I am “just a nut.” My dog sleeps in my bed and I have traces of feces and germs on my pillow case. He puts his butt in my face and I love it. He carries weird diseases and I pay my vet for anxiety medications, varied and sundry treatments & expensive surgeries. I care not for children who live in third world countries or the Appalachian Valley or the next street over. I let my dog tongue kiss me. I love it.
I am “just a nut.” It doesn’t bother me that my dog could bite your baby in the face. She probably deserved it. My dog is so well-behaved, that is why she barks at all hours of the night & disturbs the neighbors endlessly. She is my baby & anyone who doesn’t understand that is one of those freaks who thinks of dogs as animals. So ridiculous!
I am “just a nut.”
Pamela, the name is so refined, really don’t be so dogaphobic. You need to learn to share the Earth my dear, you teach your children to be selfish and show a lack of compassion, they will turn out just like you and will be part of the problem of why this nation is a mess. And how you describe a pet is really quite like a human! : ) So either you live alone or you have a human that does all of that as well. ; )
If you have a pet please get it to a real home, I will pray for this creature of God, you know like children are, creatures of God. Didn’t you learn that in your Church?
; )
PS I don’t dress my dogs, unless it’s really, really cold, and that’s called being a responsible, loving pet owner.
And thank-you, my pets are well behaved, and your children? Well, they may very well be the ones that make us tear our hair out at the restaurants.
Pamela, don’t be so bitter, you really sound like one of those right wing, conservative NUTS. Say it isn’t so? You give where you find it important and let the rest of us do the same, not your time, dime or worry, please don’t be such an animal hater it is very un-Christian like.
You know it has been proven that pets bring the blood pressure down and you are over cooked on this pet issue honey, go pet a dog, volunteer at the Shelter, you will become a loving human that your children will respect and admire.
Now excuse me I have dog hair in my mouth, dog poo on my carpet, my cats meowing, I give BIG to my local Humane Society, and yes, I LOVE MY PETS TO SLEEP IN MY BED. Life is grand in my domain how about yours??? If that makes me NUTS I welcome it!
I love to share my life with animals and even some humans, it makes for a nice balance, try it you may not be so bitter
I couldn’t agree with you more Tara…Just so proud of somebody(you) for saying it out loud!!!Animals and kids ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT…..I am an animal lover too but there is NO COMPARISON…..
THANK YOU!
You said best Lyn! Thank-you!
Ooops! Duke meant to say “You said it best Lyn”. Sometimes Dukes paws have trouble getting the right keys.
Tara i agree with you 100%, and I’m so proud of you!!!
Tara,
20 years ago, I would have said you were wrong. Then I had my daughter. Before her my cats and dogs were my babies. Then she came into my life and like you say, the love you have for your animals is nothing compared to a human being. Don’t get me wrong. I love my pets. I treat them better then some people treat theirs. They are my “fur” babies. That aside. My daughter is the light of my life. I would die for her. Nothing in my life prepared me for the overwhelming love I would feel when I look at her. Tara, you have beautiful kids. You are a good Mom and you are human! Your blog would be boring if you posted how perfect your kids were and how you never make mistakes. I read it because you are a Mom and a daughter just like me.
I can respect your opinion because opinions are what make the world an interesting place! I have many pets and do not consider them my children but I do treat them the way they deserve to be treated (many have come from abusive homes and have landed safe and sound with us)which means they have beds on the floor, lots of treats, and spend many days with us out and about. They do not require the things children do or cost what children cost but frankly they do cost quite a great deal considering their life spans if you run into something like cancer at some point in their life. I would not trade the companionship I get from my animals for anything. Honestly, I love them and in many cases like them better than some people I have come across in life. I think those people need a pet! :O)
Oh, my…..Tara, you really upset some “people”. My husband is a dog lover. He shows and has always shown more love and affection towards them than he has me or his kids. The dogs have ruined furniture, jumped and romped on things he never would have let the kids do. Then gets upset with me for not “loving” and showing “affection” as he does to these four legged family members. I do have a healthy respect for dogs….I just don’t intend to let them replace my kids, or family, nor ruin my furniture. I do realize that this is due to HIS lack of disciplining the animals and not the animals fault at all. Just makes me sad that he shows/gives them more than he does us.
So, Tara, I’m with you! Dogs are PETS, not CHILDREN.
While I agree that it is humorous for people to think a pet is as demanding or rewarding as a person, keep in mind people want to be needed, a pet is a way of expressing that, of course some take it too far.
I have a pretty good balance, I have a son and a few pets, they are definately not the priority. It’s really hard to get that across to people without kids, my kids become my dogs real fast.
Wow alot of people have issues….on BOTH sides of this arguement….thanks for making me laugh. By the way I have a dog and a toddler and they both bring happiness to my life in very different and wonderful ways!
Really? Is this even an argument? Yes, both animals and children need care and love and yes, they can both cause trouble and annoy others. But how can caring for pets be anything like raising children? Parents have a lot more responsibility than pet owners. Animals don’t grow up to be world leaders or criminals. Give Tara credit for doing what she does, she’s doing a great job as a mom!