Flat tummy days with a friend

I always tell my 20-something co-workers, if they prefer to spend free time in the bars or live life outside of work with no schedule DON’T HAVE KIDS.  You’re not ready.  Granted accidents happen, and people have kids long before they intended… but if you plan your children’s arrival, as I did, it helps to accept the fact that your new normal will not include the lifestyle you may have once embraced.  I used to love hitting the dance floors at all hours.  Never been a drinker, but my interest in spending time on the singles scene was always there.  I hated the smoke long before the bans existed, yet a chance to hang out until the bar closed followed by a trip to Denny’s was a welcome one.  I can picture myself in a tummy-baring top (you know, when my stomach was flat and the belly button hadn’t been stretched out like silly putty) rushing to the floor when some hard-driving beat blared from the speakers.  Never shy about being the first one out there, I am fortunate my husband likes to dance and has incredible rhythm.  And though I used to think marrying a man who could groove with me in the club was important, now I know that matters little compared with being with one who’s a good father.  We may rarely get to go out these days, but there is usually no place I’d rather be than at home with Dave and our kids.  My party days are over and I don’t miss them when exchanged for my new reality.

Covenant RIPT, Week 3:  30-minutes of upper body weights and abs last night.  Another hour-long RIPT class tonight.  Dave said he can’t believe how well I’m staying on my diet.  I can’t either!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

Charlotte says the word “no” about as frequently as she breathes.  I have heard it come out of her mouth in every form of emotional expression.  Even Thomas gets it.  The difference between Dave and me, in terms of our parenting style, I tend to ignore a lot of her protesting and calmly navigate my way through her drama to get eventual cooperation.  Dave hates nothing more than rude and disrespectful behavior, so the two of them butt heads and she ends up in timeout when her emotional meltdown escalates.  I don’t think either of our reactions to her is wrong.  Just that since we’re not on the same page, we need to find common ground.  I am too easy on her.  Dave is a little too tough.  My temporary morning schedule has put us all together for a longer period at night, so a bit of a clash is happening where Charlotte is concerned.  Normally it’s Mommy in the morning and Daddy for most of the night, so our individual approaches prevail based on the other parent’s absence.  But Dave’s right when he says she’s getting a mixed message.  He keeps saying if she acts this defiant now, wait until she’s 10.  Good point.

Covenant RIPT, Week 3:  A lot of squats and intense ab work were featured in last night’s class.  I am feeling mild soreness, you know the kind that results from flexing some oft-ignored muscles?  It’s a good thing, actually!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

Since watching a recent Oprah show about cell phone use behind-the-wheel, I’ve been thinking about my habits.  I don’t text while driving, but talk?  You know the answer.  Even with a hands-free earpiece like I have,  you are 4 times more likely to crash just having a phone conversation.  And the texting while driving stats are much scarier… 8 more times likely to crash.  You’d be safer driving drunk or high.  Moms I know are admitting it’s a problem and they need to change their ways.  I have stopped myself twice on the road this past week from picking up my phone to scroll through the contacts and call someone.  Love this new bumper sticker line:  Honk if you love Jesus.  Text if you want to meet him.  I have glanced down to check something on my phone, only to look up and discover I was heading toward a median.  I also have gone the wrong way driving because I was so engrossed in a call.  When my kids are in the car, I already limit cell phone use… but after watching all those people talk about losing loved ones over a phone call or a text… now my goal is to stop completely.

Covenant RIPT, Week 3:  30-minutes of lower body strength training and abs last night.  Backside looked better in the mirror this morning.  Yes, I turned around and checked.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

Dad walks me down the aisle, August 2005

You probably know I am Dave’s second wife.  He was married for ten years then divorced a few before we got together.  Meeting and falling in love with him made me realize how, like so many other women, I had unfairly judged divorced men for years.  I blame society for reinforcing the stereotypes.  Through Dave and other single dads I’ve come to know closely, I have learned that often a lot of child support is paid out but not a lot of time with your children is granted in exchange.  Also, women lie and cheat and put the kids behind themselves on the priority list just as much as men.  I used to see ladies with older, divorced men and think they were all golddiggers or ones who had father/daughter relationship issues.  Then I joined the Second Wives Club and realized neither applies to me.  But outsiders don’t always know that.  And I’m sure when we lived where Dave is from, to some, he was just another divorced dad who had latched on to a 20-something chick who happened to be a local TV news anchor.  Oh, please!  It will never last.  Fortunately 12 years and 2 kids together later, I have never been more in love with him.  I’ll be his second wife any day.

Covenant RIPT, Week 3:  No class due to weather.  Still got in 40-minutes of cardio and abs at a local rec center.  My co-worker, Jobi, also in the program had a setback.  A previous health problem has temporarily sidelined her.  But, get this, when she went to the doctor yesterday and stepped on the scale… 11 pounds down!  That’s how much she dropped in 2 weeks doing RIPT.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

No doubt there are some advantages to having a 2-parent family with a daughter and a son.  Since Thomas arrived, he and Daddy often team up unintentionally while Charlotte and I do “girl” things.  Saturday, I took her to a movie while Dave and her brother stayed home to watch sports.  Of course Thomas has the attention span of a fly, so it’s more like Daddy watches the screen while Thomas runs around throwing his toys and shoving the remote in Dave’s face to turn on a kids’ DVD.  Of course Daddy plays with him, too.  They wrestle and high-five and do all that more masculine stuff.  Charlotte and I partake in this roughhousing, too, but we also put on make-up, paint our nails and carry purses.  It’s just cool that we each have a same-gendered partner.  My dad, with two daughters, never had a buddy to take to the ball games or someone who would have enjoyed washing the cars.  I’m not suggesting my sister and I didn’t hang out with him and help out with his household activities, but I now see in Thomas that a son would have been more of a natural fit.  (Dave just asked me what I’m writing about.  He said it sounds like I’m bragging about having a boy and a girl.  Sorry, that is not my intent.)  Bottom line I never planned for a girl and a boy.  I would have stopped at two no matter their gender and been fine with it.  But there is something amazing about raising a child of the same sex.  I’ll admit it.

Covenant RIPT, Week 3:  Friday night’s class was not easy, but I found out the 50-minutes of intensity equals 4 more points on my diet plan, so I can eat 200 more calories!  I broke down and tried on my “skinny” slacks and they did fit… but the clasp is in danger of popping off.  Will retry in coming weeks.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

A regular blog reader suggested earlier this week I should seek counseling for my body image concerns.  I emailed him back explaining that I don’t think it’s a serious problem, instead what runs through many a woman’s mind… I just post a lot of my thoughts about it on the internet for all to read.  But hashing it over with Dave, imagine that, I have come to the conclusion that my job has contributed to the problem.  For years I have regularly been told the following, “You look so much better in person!”  Weekly, I hear this.  Followed by, “You look so much thinner in person!”  No doubt the harsh lighting and less-dimensional angle on TV have contributed to my not-as-attractive appearance on-air.  To make me feel better people always tell me, you want to look better in person and we all know the camera adds 10 pounds.  But I do think this type of persistent feedback has given me a bit of a complex.  I will never look as good on TV.  I will never look as thin on-camera.  So let’s plan to run it to one another at some point in person.  That way you can confirm what I’m writing here.  But you don’t have to mention it to my face.  I already know what you’ll be thinking!

Covenant RIPT, Week 2:  30-minutes of upper body strength training last night.  Back to the RIPT class at 5:30pm.  So far, so good with the diet but will not get on the scale until the Feb. 9 weigh-in.  Can’t wait to see my results!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

Some fascinating research came out this week.  Women are making men richer!  (Of course emotionally, but I’m talking financially here.)  Here’s what the Pew study concluded:  Income for a median household rose by 60 percent for married men, married women, and unmarried women compared with 16 percent for unmarried men. Although on an average, men still make more, women’s gains have reduced the gap considerably.  My own non-scientific personal opinion is that, in turn, many men have also matched women in household reponsibilities.  Show me a man who has NEVER changed a diaper and he better be over 50.  Just as a lot of women work outside the home, a lot of men are more hands-on with the kids these days.  And I love that about how we’ve evolved as a culture.  I can go to work and not come home to mounds of unwashed clothes and clean dishes… still in the dishwasher.  Thanks to my Mr. Mom, I can contribute to the bacon that’s brought home but don’t have to fry it up in the pan!  I am so happy to be a woman in a free society who CAN have it all, with admittedly a lot of sacrifices on many fronts along the way.  But yes you can have a career, kids and a man you think is sexy to share it all with.  Please don’t let me wake up from this American dream.

Covenant RIPT, Week 2:  Class was cancelled last night due to weather.  But Dave and I still got in 40 minutes of cardio at a local rec center.  I was proud of myself for not skipping a workout!

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

My pastor said something a couple sermons ago that stuck with me.  “Listen!”  That’s it.  I need to stop talking and to start listening more.  Surely I would get myself in a lot less trouble.  I cannot help but chat away with co-workers, phone friends, customers in line near me, you name the person I will have something to say to him or her.  I am just that way.  Perhaps broadcasting was a genetic-predisposition?  Charlotte has similar DNA.  She was chatting it up yesterday morning with some seniors at McDonald’s.  Her preschool’s late start led me to meet her, Daddy and Thomas for breakfast.  I overheard her telling a nice lady that she likes to go to the waterpark in the summer and that she is wearing her Easter dress somewhere, didn’t make that part out.  In fact, Nana just bought her a dress for the upcoming holiday she has yet to see.  But once she heard about it over the phone, she couldn’t help but spread the word.  Poor girl.  She is cursed like her mommy with an insane desire to share her thoughts… often too much information!  Believe me we’ve had the stranger danger talk with her, but social butterflies will spread their wings.  I so hope she someday finds a man who will let her ramble like Daddy does Mommy.  Seconds into a phone call from him to me, Dave has had to cut me off.  “Me first, I called you!”  Oh, sorry.  So polite, my husband.  Shut up, Tara, is what he’s really thinking.  And he admitted that I would drive him nuts if we worked together.  It’s true.  He would get nothing done because I would not be able to stop bothering him.  I wonder if Charlotte already irritates her classmates and teachers in this way?  YES.

Covenant RIPT, Week 2:  30-minutes of lower body strength training last night with Dave.  Feeling a little sore today.  That’s a good thing, though!  Honestly feel like I’m losing inches, and it’s only been a week.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

Since I switched to filling in on the morning and noon news, I am actually getting more continual sleep.  But the past two Saturdays I went to bed at 6:30pm and 7:30pm, so that kind of kills time alone with Dave when his wife’s in bed before his 3-year-old.  I regularly wake up BEFORE my 3:30am alarm goes off and, sadly for Daddy, Thomas wakes shortly after I leave now.  So he’s up at 4 or sleeps in until 4:15am!  Just when Daddy gets him back to sleep, around 5, is when Charlotte gets up.  And then you can forget about anymore shuteye.  If Dave or I get a nap later in the day, we can’t fall asleep at bedtime and end up tossing and turning for long periods.  So pretty much either way, no matter my work schedule, I’m screwed when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep.  And I know what some of you are thinking.  I’m not going to sleep well regardless when Charlotte is in our bed.  You’re probably right, but I’m usually too tired to realize it.      

Covenant RIPT, Week 2:  Last night’s class was tough.  I couldn’t even do the bouncing lunges, both because I’m out of shape and I don’t think my knees could take them.  The kickboxing and resistance-band work are challenging but the instructor switches it up enough that everyone can get through it.

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18

Cracking my knuckles.  If it’s true they will someday swell and make my wedding rings even tougher to take off!

Shutting the garage door on my back bumper.  I know I need to pull up until the windshield touches the baby jogger hanging from the ceiling that both kids hate!

Wondering if I will ever fit in my “thin” clothes.  Even when I could wear them, I was never totally happy with my body so who cares!

Worrying about my career and what the future holds.  TV news is about as unstable as it gets, I knew this going in.  So I have been blessed to do this anchor thing for 15 years and I need to just enjoy the ride while it lasts!

Limiting God’s influence in my life.  No doubt I believe in Him and respect His authority, yet I stress and complain about things I should relinquish completely and move on.

Covenant RIPT, Week 2:  So proud of myself that I made it through the weekend without blowing my diet.  I am back to counting points, following Weight Watchers on my own.  Friday night’s class was intense and, as predicted, I did feel better when it was OVER.  

Christmas photo shoot, Nov. 2009

Posted under Baby Thomas: Month 18