I’ve tried not to let viral cutlure infect this blog too much, but this just needs to be shared with everyone that could use a good laugh today.

You can thank me for this in the comments.

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Skylar Johnson has been making quite a name for himself in the Cedar Valley lately.  First off he’s the first ever hip hop artist to ever get some stage time at the Sturgis Falls Celebration in Cedar Falls.  That’s no small feat in itself.  I’ve heard Skylar’s stuff on and off again over the years.  He happens to be signed to my old college roommates record label A+9 Records based in Bakersfield California.  I saw Skylar perform one song with Psuedo Sleep Project at the Steb’s Reunion and asked him if I could get a copy of his new CD for review and he obliged me.  So on to the review.

What struck me on first listen to Johnson’s full length album was his vocal style.  It falls somewhere between Eminem and Kanye West, he has a smooth delivery that at times can be aggressive without shouting, he also has a great grasp of language and paints vivid pictures of the life he sees around him.  Whether it be political like “Marijuana Revolutions” featuring Aeon Grey (another A+9 artist) or personal like “A Longer Lunch”.  What I think I like most about Johnson’s words is the simple Iowa honesty that he uses.  There isn’t rapping about guns, drugs (Marijuana Revolutions isn’t about smoking pot but a political mindset that Johnson sees as a problem), cars, money or women.  He raps about the world around him, whether it be his day job or the music that inspired him to create.  Johnson’s words are chosen carefully and at times are very very poignant.

Johnson also has an ear for melody and the album is full of guitars and pianos.  Not in the sense you may have become accustomed to with rap or hip hop either.  He uses these instruments as songs, not so much as samples.  He does his own hip hop version of the classic “Will The Circle Be Unbroken” and he actually lets the traditional instruments stand out on the bridge and be their own thing.  His use of melody is a nice and welcome break in a genre that is often plagued by repetition and a lack of creativity.

But it isn’t all roses on this record.  In the same way that “Will the Circle be Unbroken” is good because of it’s melody and traditional uses of instruments, it suffers from Johnson’s singing voice.  I applaud him for trying something new, but Johnson’s range or perhaps his confidence holds him back on the songs where he is singing the melody.  Also being more production minded myself, the album suffers from a lack of a full range of sounds.  Johnson’s vocals are first and foremost in the mix, like most hip hop, it’s based on the vocals.  They are the hook, the melody, the meat and potatoes, but I feel like the rest of the disc suffers from a lack of attention to the music that surrounds the vocals.  Apart from “Marijuana Revolutions” the beats all fall flat and lack any dynamic range.  The true test for me is my car speakers and I’ve listened to this album several times in there, and the beats just never come through like I like.  That may not be a problem for some listeners, especially those that spend more time with vocals than I do, but for me, if the whole package isn’t there then I start drifting away from the music and thinking about how I would have done that kick differently.

All in all Skylar Johnson has a winner on his hands here.  Most people aren’t going to be nearly as critical of the music with Johnson’s excellent abilities on the mic and interesting stories to take up most of their attention span.  In my car this morning listening to the album one final time on my way to work I came up with a genre for this record and I think it fits perfectly.  Hip Hop Bluegrass.  I recommend this to fans of engaging well thought out hip hop and people who enjoy NPR.  Believe me, this album has some surprises on it.

3 1/2 Stars out of 5.

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Quentin Tarantino‘s Inglorious Basterds gets released to theatres today and it had me thinking about film.  Exploitation, B-Movie and Horror films really.  You see Mr. Tarantino and myself share a love of these types movies.  The movies that played at the Grindhouses on 42nd Street in New York from the 60′s through the sanitizing of the late 80′s and early 90′s.  Mr. Tarantino bases a lot of his films from those Grindhouse movies of yesteryear.  So it had me thinking about things.  Especially why do I love these kinds of movies?  What draws me to these movies?  Sometimes they are so bad they are good, and sometimes they are pure works of genius.  What draws me to a filmmaker like Herschell Gordon Lewis or Roger Corman?  These are two of the bigger and more recognized names in the genre but there are hundreds, literally thousands of directors and producers who worked in these genres for decades that went on to even bigger careers including Steven Spielberg with Jaws, Sam Raimi with the Evil Dead movies, Peter Jackson with Dead Alive (Braindead), and Francis Ford Coppola with Dementia 13.  All of these filmmakers went on to win big awards and make huge movies but all of them started out in exploitation and b-movies.

So what makes someone love those kind of movies?  As I sit here typing this and dissecting my reasons andopinions one big idea pops into my head, the thrill of finding a diamond amongst all the trash.  Also the thrill of seeing something so outlandish you can’t help but sit with your jaw hanging open looking for your next film fix.  So on the day of Tarantino’s latest Grindhouse homage I thought perhaps I would list my top ten grindhouse films of all time and maybe open the door for you to check something out for yourself.  Please keep in mind that not all of these films are going to be appropriate for all viewers.  A lot of these movies were made outside of the mainstream and quite frankly may feature disturbing images and disturbing subject matter, so please take my advice and proceed with caution if you are easily offended or don’t like horror movies.  So here’s my ten exploitation films to see in no particular order.

Zombie (1979) – While George A. Romero is hands down the king of the the Zombie genre this Italian feature directed by splatter master Lucio Fulci is one of the finest zombie movies to ever grace the silver screen and now home video.  I adore everything about this movie, from the soundtrack, to the splinter in the eye, to the zombie shark fight under the water.  A true classic of the genre.

Suspiria (1977)  - Directed by Dario Argento this Italian film about three witches is so influential andimportant to movies that I think every one in the world should watch it at least once.  I got hooked on it after listening to the band Ministry who sampled some of the dialog for one of their songs.  I rented the movie and was blown away by the atmosphere and direction.  Not to mention it’s easily one of the greatest soundtracks ever committedto tape by the band Goblin.

Night of the Living Dead (1968) – Directed by the one and only George A. Romero this is the film that changed the game for me.  To this day it remains my Citizen Kane of exploitation movies.  I still can’t watch this movie without covering my eyes when the little girl gives her mom the what for with the hand shovel.  A classic and a must see.

Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn (1987) – I used to watch a lot of USA Up All Night with Rhonda Shear back in the day.  Not only did they play music videos but they also showed awesome movies late at night, that’s how I caught this and Cemetary Man (which almost made my list here).  I had fallen asleep on the couch only to wake up to Ash’s girlfriends’ decapitated corpse dancing outside the window of the cabin in the woods.  I was hooked from there on out andstayed awake to watch the rest of the movie.  I then foundmyself running to find the movie at my local mom and pop rental store (Home Video in Hampton, Iowa shout out to Van!).  What I witnessed changed my life forever, I became an instant fan of Sam Raimi and little did I know that he would go on to direct the Spider-man films (which happens to be my most favorite comic book hero of all time).  Do yourself a favor and rent all three of the Evil Dead films tonight.

Dead Alive (Braindead) (1992) - Before Peter Jackson was an academy award winning director he was a guy just like me with a love for comedy and splatter.  Dead Alive is to this day the perfect mix of gore and comedy.  I can quote this whole movie for you from beginning to end.  If you don’t believe me, ask me the next time you see me, I promise you, I’ll quote it.

Enter the Dragon  (1973) – I’ve got to get in some of my love for the Martial Arts movies too.  Enter the Dragon is probably Bruce Lee‘s best work, definitely his most accessible and honestly just a ton of fun to watch from beginning to end.

Ninja Wars (1982) – This is definitely not Sonny Chiba‘s best work but it’s a favorite of mine that I bought on a whim on VHS somewhere in the middle of playing a show with my band back in the day.  It was a double feature VHS pack and still to this day, it’s fun to throw this on, kick back and just have a good time watching crazy monks battle Sony Chiba.

Hellraiser (1987) – Directed by my favorite author Clive Barker this film is just one visceral thrill after another and it gave us the scariest of all the 80′s horror icons Pinhead.  Watch it with the lights on.

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965) – Directed by Russ Meyer this movie stands up more now as camp than it did in 1965 but it’s a must see for anyone with just a passing fancy of cinema from the fringes.  Now it’s a lot more fun to watch as a comedy than a serious movie, but boy is it a ton of fun to watch.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) – And what’s a good list without some comedy?  Easily my favorite of the Monty Python films.  Another movie that I can quote from beginning to end.  If you haven’t seen this then you owe it to yourself to take some time out of your day to get your hands on a copy of this.

The worst things about making lists like this is you leave so much out of the list.  I’ve completely skipped over movies like Re-Animator by Stuart Gordon or pretty much all of David Cronenberg‘s career.  I’ve also left off favorites like Nightbreed and Dawn of the Dead, John Carpenter‘s The Thing, Wes Craven‘s Last House on the Left and the entire catalogue of Hammer films with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.  Not to mention all the Universal classics like Dracula with Bela Lugosia nd James Whale‘s Frankenstein or even Tod Browning‘s Freaks.  But you get the idea of what I’m going for.  So here is an assignment if you so chose to, come up with a list of your ten favorite films OR tell me why it is that you like certain things?  What attracts you to the movies that you like and the music that you listen too?

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This is the subject on the email in my in box last Friday.  No it wasn’t spam or promises of fashion watches or any other thing that might change my life or enhance it in any way shape or form nudge nudge wink wink.  No it was an email from a friend of mine who I have known for years and years.  We share a musical kindred-ship and have collaborated hundreds of times together.  And why might he be famous?

Well my dear friend Tyler Crew was interviewed by Stylist Star for their program called Top 75.  No kidding!  They called him last week and a producer from the show did an interview with Tyler and also gave him a few moments to chat with stylist to the stars Guiseppe Franco.  Franco gave Tyler some advice and they chatted about why Tyler does hair for a living and how he helps make a difference in peoples lives.  Pretty neat experience I would think!

I’m not sure where this will lead for Tyler, perhaps it will make him famous, perhaps he’ll get some more clients from the exposure?  The greatest thing about this though is that someone who really does deserve a spotlight has gotten that spotlight.  Congratulations Tyler, here’s to hoping something big will come of this for you!

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Dateline: Summer 1983…

An 11 year old boy sits in his room writing feverishly, his mind is racing and he is pouring his heart and soul into the pencil and paper on his floor.  Ideas and designs fill his imagination and fill the paper.  He runs downstairs puts the papers into an envelope and mails the letter off to HASBRO and waits.  A few short weeks later he gets a very nice rejection letter from HASBRO and a word of advice, you should get a patent on your ideas before you send them out, but we appreciate you taking the time to write to us.

Dateline: 1984 Storm Shadow emerges as the newest Cobra agent.

The boy clings to his rejection letter, looking through his drawings and ideas and cursing himself for not getting a patent on his idea for his ninja warrior.

That boy was me, and before you get into a fluster I’m not accusing HASBRO of anything, my story is probably like a lot of little boys stories in the year 1984.  G.I. Joe, Transformers, He-Man and M.A.S.K. consumed my free time and my life.  Well we’ve had two miserable Transformer movies, a Dolph Lungren led He-Man travesty and I think I’m like one of 14 people who actually remembers M.A.S.K. so the only thing left of my youth to destroy was G.I. Joe which brings me to my viewing yesterday.

Ladies and Gentleman I present to you G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

I’m sure I’m probably going to be all alone in my praise of this movie.  I’m all alone in my praise of a lot of bad movies, but this movie is one of the those movies that I’ve been waiting to see for most of my life.  Since I used to play with the G.I. Joe toys as a child.  So let’s see what do you need to know about the movie.  Not a whole lot.  It’s a movie about a global agency that defeats terrorists groups around the world, that no one knows about and no government actually recognizes.  You’ve been down this road before right?  Right.  What you get next is 2 hours of non-stop action, puny one-liners and a child’s vision of toys come to life.  I’m not gonna sugar coat this folks, this film isn’t for critics, it isn’t for the people that want a nice clean story, it isn’t for people who want to think about the characters after the run time ends.  No folks, this movie is one giant toy commercial.

A lot of things really worked in this, first Stephen Sommers did a good job with the back stories on most of the characters.  Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes were done correctly.  Scarlett was done right (the only thing they screwed up here was the chemistry between Duke and Scarlett and that may have been from my own made up G.I. Joe universe and not the comics or the cartoon).  Duke and Ripcord’s backgrounds were a little screwed up and The Baroness had to have had the most screwed up back story.  I could forgive the back stories on Destro and Cobra Commander cause honestly they were never really fleshed out before.  You know what I thought was cool too?  They worked in the leader of the Dread-naughts which was a piece of the G.I. Joe puzzle that comes in a lot later in the toys and cartoon.  I wanted to see more of Zartan but heck just a glimpse of him was enough.  Really folks this was just one giant battle with hi-tech weapons from beginning to end.  They tried their best at character development and getting you to care for the Joe’s apart from the fact that they are just the good guys doing their job.

I thought most of the effects worked, although I’m still having troubles with the explosions under the water but that means I would have trouble with like 98% of movies that happen underneath the oceans surface, disbelief suspended.  I’m sure the DVD will come out with a director’s cut.  Reason being?  This movie is ultra violent.  I mean tons and tons of violence.  More than one person looses their head in this, and I mean literally.  I’m sure the unrated director’s cut will put all the gore that’s been excised from this cut to make it PG-13.  Believe me when I tell you that if you’re thinking about taking a smaller child to this, I’d think twice about it.  13 is probably my cap on this one for the youngins.  Honestly there was a ton of violence, a ton of it.

So you’re probably asking yourself about now is the fan boy ever gonna shut his trap and talk about what didn’t work?  Well yeah I guess I better huh?  So what didn’t work?  First off not all of the CGI looked great, there were a couple of shots that didn’t impress me and looked a little too computer graphicy.  But I can forgive those few.  The dialog was at times something not to be proud of.  But what do you expect, this isn’t Citizen Kane here folks, there is no Rosebud hiding around the corner.  I’m not a huge fan of the Duke character in this.  I thought Channing Tatum is a bit too young to play a seasoned war hero like Duke is suppose to be.  I also didn’t enjoy how they changed up the relationship with the Baroness and Duke.  I thought they were reaching for things there.  I did like how they built up Cobra Commander (honestly I waited the whole movie to figure it out and when I finally did it paid off well).  There were also a couple of moments of groan worthy-ness when they tried to insert an old saying from the cartoon.  Heavy Duty’s “Yo Joe” springs to mind.

So as a whole, I really really enjoyed G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and I hope it makes enough money to warrant a sequel.  I want to see more Joe vs. Cobra action.  I want to see more of Cobra Commander and I want to see Snake Eyes in action some more.  So bravo Stephen Sommers, you did me proud this time around, you did me proud.

4 out of 5 Stars (I’m sure I’m the only one too)

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