I would NEVER say having a dog is the same as having a child or children. It’s not. I would also never say being a parent is easy. I respect parents so much. But, personally, I feel there are definitely *similarities between having a child and having a dog. Loving, responsible pet owners absolutely go through “child-like” experiences with their animals.
When Cubbie was a puppy, I woke up in the night almost every half hour to let him out to the bathroom. This went on for more than a month. No, it’s not the exact same as a child, but I also lost A LOT of sleep.
Recently, Cubbie was sick when his pancreatitis flared up. I got three hours of sleep while I stayed up with him all night as he threw up. Guess who got to clean up the mess? Then, first thing in the morning I took him to the vet and still went to work for a full day. When your child is sick you can take a sick day, but it’s frowned upon if I want to take a sick day to stay with my dog at the veterinarian’s office while he undergoes tests.
I take Cubbie for regular veterinary visits and pay extra for a dog food to help his pancreatitis. He visits the vet more often than I visit the doctor. Yes, I often put the needs of my dog before my own, just like a parent does for a child.
No, Cubbie doesn’t need braces or a college education, but I still provide for him. I have to make sure he has food and water, that he is bathed, that his nails get trimmed, that he goes outside, that he gets exercise, that he has toys to play with and that he has a safe and secure place to live.
No, it’s not easy having children. On the same note, it’s also not always easy having pets. Children are welcome many more places than pets. You can take children into stores, to the movies, almost anywhere you want to go. Pet owners can’t do that. Yes, it is socially acceptable to leave pets alone without a sitter, I understand you wouldn’t simply leave a child home alone. BUT, just because I leave Cubbie home when I’m at work doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty. I absolutely hate it. I’m willing to bet most parents also feel guilty about leaving children while they go to work.
Yes, I’ve brought Cubbie to my work a few times (never for very long), but I always try to be respectful of other people. I understand people can be allergic. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. I would never say anything to someone who brought a child into work for awhile. In fact, numerous times people bring children into work and we all coo and ahh around the children. It’s fun and a change of pace to have children visit work.
Also, I’m currently looking for a different house to rent. Do you know how hard it is to find a decent house to rent that allows pets? You probably wouldn’t get discriminated against renting a place because you have children.
Just as parents love children and children love parents, I love my dog and my dog loves me. That unconditional love is the best love in the world. As children make parents laugh, my dog makes me laugh. Just as parents look forward to coming home to children, I look forward to coming home to my dog.
I believe each person is entitled to his or her own opinion. You don’t have to agree with me on this issue, but don’t tell me I’m wrong. Each person feels a certain way for a reason. My reason for treating my dog as a child is extremely personal to me, one that most people don’t know.
I don’t expect you to understand, but please don’t judge. If I want to treat my dog like the child I may never have, so what?
I think each person should choose what is right for him/her. Treating my dog like a child is what I choose to do. Disagree with me, but respect my perspective as I will respect yours.
For many of us our pets are not just “animals.” They deserve respect and love. Yes, I love my dog like a child, and I’m proud to admit it.
Boating 2008
P.S. Yes, Tara and I disagree on this subject. That’s just fine. We are both strong women who–as Tara put it, speak loud and proud. We have immense respect for each other. Tara and I are co-workers, but we’re also friends. On this subject, we have agreed to disagree! 
——————
I want to thank everyone for your comments, no matter what your opinion. I want to say just one more thing. People ask me a lot if I’m married, and if I’m ready to have kids. My honest response is, “Not yet. I have enough trouble balancing work and my dog, so I know I’m not ready for kids yet.” I really believe in that statement. I know having a dog is NOT having a child. But having Cubbie has showed me I’m not ready for children… as some of you have also said. Knowing how much work Cubbie is, I know I’ll have to devote a lot more time to my children, and right now, I simply don’t have that time. I plan to make the time… someday. For now, it’s just the two of us, which means he gets all my attention.
Posted under Cubbie stories
This post was written by dwagner on March 13, 2009
I agree with you 100%. I have two grown children and now two grandchildren. The grandchildren are my world, but so are my two dogs. I would do anything for them. If my dogs hurt my grandchildren, they get diciplined, and vise versa. My two dogs are mine and my husbands children. My husband does not have two legged children of his own, but we do have our four legged children. I do believe that blog should never have been put up by Tara, as that has nothing to do with baby steps. Thanks for your blog and output on this subject.
Thank you for posting this entry. I could not agree more.
I came to your blog after reading your comment on Tara’s blog. I don’t think you’re wrong for loving and caring for your dog in the same manner as a child. You’re obviously a great pet owner, and you can treat your animals however you choose. I do feel, however, pets are not the same as children, so they can’t really be compared. I think that’s what sparks the debate. Pets shouldn’t have the same rights to enter public places unless they are companions for people with special needs. The biggest reason for me, would be the allergies. I think animals are cute, but I’m allergic to pet dander and have severe asthma attacks when exposed. I think as mom’s, we do tend to get irritated when friend’s without kids compare their animals to our children. I know it’s not meant to offend, and I usually bite my tongue. I also realize we are not all able to have children, or some choose not to, which is fine. I think in that case animals can fill that desire to nurture. You and Tara shouldn’t have to agree to disagree about anything on this topic. You have a pet that you love with all your heart, and she has children that she loves with all her heart. That’s the only true comparison.
Danielle:
I totally agree with you
Hi Danielle,
I agree with everything you wrote. It’s great to treat your dog as a child. Animals feel many emotions that humans do.
I think you would be a great candidate for becomming a vegetarian. After all there’s not any difference between farm animals and our sweet dogs. Since you seem to be an open-minded person, I invite you to learn more about becomming a vegetarian. My dog is my child and I feel wonderful about being a vegetarian. (I haven’t eaten an animal for over 6 years now). My personal philosophy is “Nothing has to die to keep me alive”. It has been the best decision I have ever made…just wish I would have done it sooner.
From one animal lover to another I just think this would be a great option for you and hope you will think about it. (there are lots of great websites out there to search).
Thanks for your time.
I can not believe people would belittle anyone for treating their pets as children. These people should get a life. A dog is the only thing on earth that loves that loves you more then yourself.
You are 100% correct. You say that treating your dog like a child is what you choose to do. It’s exactly what I choose to do as well. And I feel it’s demeaning for people to belittle what it takes to own a pet (and dispensable, Pamela J.? Come on! That’s like saying that women who have more than one child experience less of a loss if - God forbid - one should die…as long as there are other siblings).
Also to Pamela J. - I don’t feel that loving dogs like children is fulfilling biological desires unnaturally if a woman has no desire to have children, or if she’s uncertain that she ever will. Most women enjoy caring for another person (or animal) even if not related by blood. This is not an “unnatural” instinct by any means.
Nearly all children (thank God) live longer than 10-15 years, and you don’t have to take them to the vet at the end of a long, faithful, companionable friendship and make the hardest decision of your life. I would much prefer college and braces to that decision and the heartbreak that follows.
I plan on spending a lot more time on this blog, as I value your insight and am highly entertained by your Cubbie stories.
I’m not sure why Tara decided to bark & bite about this but Danielle I agree 100% with you!!
I have a grown daughter, so yes, I do know about motherhood and even breast fed (read Tara’s blog)LOL!!
I have 3 beautiful dogs. My dogs ARE my KIDS. My dogs have allergies, one that is very severe, they all three get allergy shots every month. They get special dog food, they have manicures & pedicures, they get vaccinations, when they get sick I worry. I do this because I rescued them, they didn’t choose me and I love them more than anything. When they pass we can get another one, but it will NEVER be the same, because if people know anything about dogs (pets in general that they care about), each one has their own unique personality and their own special way of showing you love back.
It’s great that Cubby is your dogchild and that he gets all the love & care that he does, Cubby is very lucky to have a great dog mom!
-Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.
I am not a mother, because of carrying a disease to my offspring I choose not to have children. I feel as though I was put on this earth to save and rescue dogs and cats.
I find it highly immature for others to insult others for their beliefs. We all have our causes, whether it be children or pets, or whatever. I do not believe I have the right to insult others for what they choose to believe.
I also would help a child in need or animal in need, and have. I love children and animals. I believe that if we are all working to make this world a better place for others, whether children or animals, how is that a bad thing? It is all done with love. Keep in keeping on Danielle!!!
Hi Danielle,
I totally respect your love for your dog. People that have pets should all have that same love - that’s why we choose to have pets. We have 2 cats (sisters), and I grew up with cats and dogs - loved them all.
That being said - there is no comparison to dogs (or any other pet) and kids, as far as responsibility goes. The love factor - I get that. But, to say they are the same as having kids - that’s just not true. Once I had my first child, it was life changing. Nobody should tell you that your relationship with your dog is LESS - as to you, it’s very important and Cubbie is family to you. Everyone should be thankful he/she has such a great person to take care of him!
I see both sides of the story (you and Tara), but I’m pretty sure that once you have your first child Danielle, you will understand the true difference. You may feel guilty about leaving your dog for the day, and that is awesome that you have that love, but you still CAN leave your dog. There are so many differences - too long of a list.
There is no disrespect meant towards you or Cubbie! Cubbie is very lucky to have you, and you him! It’s just a matter of actual fact - responsibility is totally different.
Danielle,
I read Tara’s blog quite often, and wanted to comment on your blog.
I have a chocolate lab and have had her since she was nine weeks old. She is now almost four years old. My now husband and I got her shortly after moving in together about 7 months before we got married. I am so thankful to have the experience of taking care of a pet. She is a house dog and there is a lot more responsibility in taking care of a pet that is inside, compared to outdoor pets, in my opinion. I love my dog and many believe she is like a child to me…she is, in a way!
I have no experience raising children. I am in my mid 20s. We got her shortly after I graduated from college. My dog, Sadie, has definitely showed me what it’s like to be responsible. I have to find a place for her when I’m gone, feed her, water her, take her for walks, buy her toys, take her to medical check ups, love her, play with her etc…
Now, I am expecting my first child in May. I think having a dog for four years has prepped me a little bit in taking care of a child. I understand that these are two totally different things, but I feel the responsibility for taking care of a pet has prepared me for responsibility in taking care of “something” in general.
I do not believe I can compare the two in importance. I know that a child will be a lot more responsibility and be more important to me. If I want to ignore my dog I can tie her up outside or put her in her kennel. I will NOT do this with a child. I can put my dog in a training crate in our kitchen if she’s been bad. I wouldn’t do this with a child. I only feed my dog twice a day. I expect to be feeding my child, as a newborn, several times a day.
I do not have a child myself and I always tell my friends that are considering having a child to try out having a dog first. It’s my opinion that having a dog is as close as you can get to feeling a part of the responsibility that comes along with being a parent. I have two small dogs and I love them to death. Sometimes I feel like they are my “kids” but having them also let me know that I am not ready for the amount of responsibility that comes along with having children. That doesn’t stop me from worrying when they are sick, or feeling bad if I’ve left them home alone for several hours in a day. And it definitely doesn’t make me feel like they are *replaceable*. (It was ignorant to even make that comment as well as several other comments in Pamela J’s entry). Dogs are not children but having one definitely gives you a glimpse into what it would be like to have one.
After all, what’s wrong with having someone in your life that gives you unconditional love? If all humans were that way, our world would be a lot better of a place to live.
As much as I love reading Tara’s blog, I will have to say that I think in this case, she is too quick to judge people who love their pets. But I have to agree that some people do get carried away with the designer doggie outfits and doggie manicures/pedicures. I raised two children and many pets. I know the difference between my pets and my children. I have lost numerous pets over the years and thank goodness, never lost one of my children. As painful as it was to lose each of my pets, I know there would be no comparison if I were to lose one of my children. But the pain is still real as is the love I had/have for my pets. I worked in a veterinarian’s office for 8 years and I have seen pet owners from one extreme to the other. I have seen dogs with broken bones because the owner didn’t think he kicked “it” that hard. I have seen dogs that live the life of luxury whose owners talk “babytalk” to, and get to go out for ice cream on special days. I would much rather see a dog that is treated as a child than a dog that is mistreated and neglected. I, too, have felt guilty for leaving my dog home alone all day. I also talk to my pets like they are people. But, as you said, Danielle, that is my choice. The important thing to understand is that I KNOW that my cat is a cat and my dog is a dog. I just choose to love them unconditionally as they choose to love me unconditionally. Enjoy Cubbie and spoil him rotten!
You can love your dog in any manner you wish, but it literally makes me MISERABLE when people take their pets where they really shouldn’t be… given the fact I’m allergic to them. Taking your dog on an airplane — in the main cab — should be illegal. Ruins my vacation.
I totally agree with you Danielle. I am 50, never had children but my cats and dogs have ALWAYS been my children. I would say that I probably spend as much on my babies and most people do on their human babies. I WILL NOT cut back when it comes to my “children”. I love them just as much as my family but in a different way. I would go to the ends of the earth to keep them happy, healthy and safe.
Danielle~
I have emailed you pictures of my 4 cats and was so proud when you showed them on the Saturday morning news(sadly we have lost one since then).
As I said in Tara’s blog, our cats are our ‘kids’. We don’t call them our children but we feed them, get them vaccinated and worry when they are sick like parents to do their children. We love our cats unconditionally and they love us unconditionally, which is what I’ve heard parents say about their children.
I recently had to put one of my 6 month old kittens asleep because she had feline luekemia (sp?), my husband was away for the weekend and I had to decide what to do basicly by myself. I cried for hours. I still feel like I ‘killed’ her, but I know it was the right thing to do. I realize non pet lovers will not understand how I can feel this deeply for a cat, but that is how unconditional love works.
Keep up the good work advocating for the Humane Society and so many unwanted pets that only want a special person to care for them.
PS ~ Love the pet section on the Saturday morning news.
Danielle! Loved your blog, right on sister!
The one thing I have always found with those that are anti animal like Pamela is how they feel a need to put down those that make pets and animals a priority, either in companionship or in need.
I never hear animal lovers slam those that prefer to do human work or make human a priority. Guess those that love the beasts have a true heart of compassion. I give my time to both and would NEVER talk down to anyone that gives of their time for man or beast. Just give to better someone or something. Pamela sounds like a bitter, unhappy soul.
Give Cubbie a hug from me and hugs to you too Danielle for all the good you do for our 4-legged friends. I look forward to the next Cubbie walk!
I appreciate your post. Thoughtful, well written. I WAS a lot like you—pre children. Full time job, single with a dog. She was my life and I (thought) loved her like a child. Then I got married and HAD children. All I will say is this: Please consider re-writing this when you do HAVE children. I think you likely laugh at yourself–and I mean that!
Pamela J- Your comments are disgusting. To say someone is psychologically damaged simply because they love their pet is crazy. Maybe if you hadn’t been so disrespectful as a child (since you apparently are now) your mother wouldn’t have treated you as a dog. Learn to live life with a smile, it will get you much further in life than the depressing journey you seem to be on now!
Danielle,
We have 5 dogs and a kitty and we love them all very much. We appreciate your attitude toward animals and love your weekend programs. We enjoy seeing Jennifer with the kitties. Keep on loving Cubbie and thanks for all of your work with the Humane Society. Your fans
Wow… Danielle..I feel so amazing after reading your blog…I agree with everything you wrote, and thought maybe I was the only one…I have friends who have dogs who keep them in the basement and they are not aloud upstairs because there are children upstairs..and it breaks my heart…they are dear friends of mine..but why get dogs if you are going to keep them locked in your baseement….my dog Hydro..carried me through a divorce.. a man who wanted a dog, but after he left me..wanted nothign to do with Hydro….and it saddened me terribly…now I share my bed with my true love..a srong, warm, protector..who doesn’t sweat, snore, fart, or druell red wine on my white pillows…yes, he ha four legs and a tail….but he is amazing…truly amazing!!!!.Hydro is the love of my life! I couldn’ think of a better way to spend my days!
I completely agree with you, I have two daughters, I always wished to have a boy. So now I am the proud mother of Sparky, our chihuahua, he’s like a son to me. I respect other people feelings, but I make clear how I feel for my baby. He’s just a beauty and he’s so lovable. So really, I do understand you. I also have a special bond with Sparky, because as my husband says, he’s the boy that I would never have.
I couldn’t agree more. Our two dogs are my children and luckily my husband agrees. We love them more than anything and wish so much that we could take them every place children are allowed to go.
They sleep with us, they eat with us and they wear adorable clothes. On the plus side, we are able to have pet health insurance (do you have that, totally check it out VIP Pet insurance) and we are able to work form home some days a week to be with them… when we aren’t they go to stay with their grandparents and play all day!
In short… you go girl. We totally understand and approve of your furry child. Our dogters are our life!
I treat my dog like a child. I kiss on her like a baby constantly!!! I have a Female Basset Hound named Sadie. I took her in when she was 6 months old. I don’t know if I can go on with life once I lose her. I know one thing, I will be needing medication for coping with it.
I agree with you 100%
Scooter is a Lhasa Apso. I received him on my 18th birthday, two years after Carlo (my husband) and I started dating. Scooter was our life and we saw him grown, he was our son. Due to major back problems, I am not able to have children of my own, and Scooter covered that void. After 15 ½ years, Scooter passed away on December 7, 2008. We were traumatized. The love I had and will always have for him is unexplainable. He could always put a smile on our face; he would give kisses and lick our tears if we were sad. Scooter depended on us and therefore he was just like a child. But for those that are unable to have children of their own, animals become your children. Dogs love their owners unconditionally. I will never have my own children, and will never know what it is like to have my own children. But scooter was motherhood for me. People have love or feel love for different things. Who is anyone else to tell me what to love or how love should feel.
I LOVED YOUR POST. I HAVE TWO CAVALIER KING CHARLES SPANIELS AND THEY ARE MY TWO BABIES.
I share my ex-wife’s 4 pound Maltese, I started puppy sitting when she went to work doing makeup…I’m a photographer and live in my studio so I don’t have to leave Sophie alone… I never do.. this little dog stole my heart….. I’m 6′1″ 225 rugged looking man.. people giggle when they see us together, I see the irony…. I don’t care… I treat her like a princess… I built a ramp so she can get in my bed with me… I have a little roll cart that brings her to table level…. because she’s not happy if she’s not in my lap or right beside me…. I have a motorhome with a generator and AC, so when I go to the store she comes with me and stays in the RV when I go in. I could never leave her alone for 8 hours.. that’s her greatest fear being left alone….. I have a grown son….. yeah, I love him, it’s not much different…
I just came by after doing a google search. I was brought up with dogs and they were part of our family and when they passed beyond the great veil, I grieved as much I do for any of our family when they pass. I still visit the grave and say a prayer, I’m not ashamed of admitting I loved them deeply, I will not limit my affection on the basis of how many legs someone has.
I now have seven cats, we can’t have children so we count our blessings for what we can have. I love each of them so much and they give so much back. Pure, unconditional love.. if more people were like that, we would live in a wonderful world. I get upset knowing people see them as ‘just animals’, but the loss is theirs, they really, really do not know what they are missing out on.
Warmest regards to everyone here who understands. x
i completely agree with you 100%. i am 36 yrs old, i’ve been married for 10 yrs, i have no kids, and i have 5 dogs. i love MY BABIES… THEY ARE MY KIDS!!! they have their own room ( they all share) that is set up like a kids room, they have their own myspace page. my babies are my world, they depend on me, and make me smile.
people have told me i’m NUTS for being the way i am with my dogs but it has never been important to me what people say.
my dogs are the best, i will fight to protect them the same as they would for me.
i have all different breeds from a beagle to a shepard, lab, chow, and pitt i have had 3 of them for over 8 yrs, one over 5 yrs, and one over 2 yrs, i love them sooooooo much. they get x mas gifts, easter baskets, valentine’s day gifts the whole works. i’m so glad you posted this it has helped me relize i’m not crazy, and that this is the way it should be.
I loved this post. But I have a problem…children dander!! I work in Social Services and I can say this so honestly…DOGS/CATS ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN KIDS! I have such a dissonance with people that say kids are better than dogs/cats.. I could give too many situations when dogs have been proven to be more worthy of a soul than humans. I am so sick an tired of “The MOM GROUP” telling us how to feel. Screw off you bags. I’m 39 years old; my net (bet you don’t know what that means) is over 140K - AND I LOVE MY DOGS MORE THAN I LOVE A HUMAN!
Give it to me you mom’s who let strangers take care of your kids …. you make me sick.
i miss my cat that passed away a few days ago. He was a orange cream and white tabby cat. I love him as a child of my own. I see no difference in the amount of love I had for him and a child. I cant get over his passing. I want him back. Their lives are too short and he was in pain, i did not euthanize him , i just couldnt do it. he had heart disease and possible cancer we just found out about cancer right before he died. I dont know waht to do with his body. I went to a cemetary and the lady at the humane society was very rude so I am not going to burry him there, i am not able to make any more decisions, I wish I coudl have him cyro freezed. i cant belive he is gone, i will never get over this. will i? i need to so i can take care of my daughter my life.
Thank you for your post! I have 2 cats who I call the kids or the girls. I am 29 years old on the cusp of being 30 and dare I say not married and never want children and for some reason society thinks that’s awful. I love my life the way it is. I treat my 2 girls like I would if they were human children. I worry about how they feel when I leave for work or go on a trip without them. I hate that renters cannot easily find a place to move into that allows pets. I will say when my youngest was 5 weeks old and the size of my hand she did get slipped into a tote bag with her blankie and taken to the store. They get hugged & kissed before I leave for work and receive the same love when I get home. I get laughed at frequently by friends and family that I put so much effort into loving my animals. I don’t care. Animals are such unconditionally loving beings.
Very well put. Thank you and send my best to Cubbie.
Wow…after reading this just made me feel better. I just lost my chihuahua that i had for 2 years and she passed away unexpected yesterday. I have done nothing but cry, can’t think, feel numb, want to fill this void and talk about it, yet i can’t. I dont think my friends understand how i feel about jasmine. she was my best friend, my little girl, i took care of her just the way you do for Cubbie. I bathed her, trimmed her nails, cooked her chicken, made sure she had her apple snack, rubbed the belly and tucked her into bed with us every night. she left behind my legs. last night being the first night without her was devastating. i am still in shock, i cant believe it happened and today i asked myself is this normal. i am crying more than when my brother passed away. i realized it was because just like you i cared for her like i care for my 3 kids. i was jasmine’s mom…i looked for her in the mornings making sure she had her food, her water, that she was warm in her bed. and unfortanetely when we came home she had passed away in her bed. so i totally agree with you that you love cubbie as a child. i dont even want to imagine the loss of a child, but i can say that i loved my little jasmine very much and its hurting. and its not about being just a pet, she was part of my family. and i have three kids who i love very much and take care of with all my heart and love. some may or may not understand. i can only say that you have every god given right to feel the way you feel regardless of what anyone says.