Today has been another rough one (see previous entry) and I cannot stop thinking about Mr. Disappearing Act. How does one justify completely vanishing without a rhyme or reason? I can handle people who don’t want me to be in their lives but to completely not return calls or texts is just cruel and unusual punishment. I even went as far as to imagine the worst possible situations! I read the online version of the newspaper in his hometown scouring the headlines for mention of him.  My mind is playing crazy tricks on me. Car accident? Awful tragedy? Lots of worry and lots of stress but alas I think he is fine. Just perfectly okay with ignoring me.

I am pretty sure the work day passed without me even in it. I went through the motions, put on a smile and read the news as best as I could. The hardest part about it is that I am normally a very happy, upbeat person. I love to laugh and joke around and when I am in a funk everything just becomes messy.  These are times where you really realize who your true friends are. It’s like they have a sixth sense and will text you just when you are a really feeling downright crappy. My phone has been abuzz all day with friends offering words of wisdom and support. It really makes you wonder if you are doing enough for your friends when you are in a happy, normal state. I know I am probably guilty of relying on them too much when I am upset and not enough to just remind them they matter in my life.

If we are wise (which nobody really is when they are IN the funk) than we can see it for what it is. A time to learn about ourselves and really grow and transform. As my friend Shenah says (whom I like to call Guru because she really is!) “You have to process the emotions and then flush them down the toilet”

In fact she is a big believer in forgiveness. You have to forgive even those who hurt you..even really, really bad in order to move on. If we can learn this lesson then we can really heal our soul.

As I am contemplating this I think I will go and check my phone for the 8,435 time today.

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Weekends are meant to be relaxing but mine was a bit of a roller coaster ride. Friday night someone very close to me decided he didn’t want to talk anymore. It was sudden, abrupt and done in a very hurtful way.  Essentially he dropped off the face of the earth. We had a little argument on Friday night but nothing crazy and since then he refuses to answer my calls or respond to any text messages. Stressful to say the least! I think the worst thing you can do to someone is stop talking to them just like that. Everyone deserves at least an explanation of why someone does not wish to talk to you or at least some communication. This has been just the opposite though. Each time I call I get a voice mail and not a single response for two days now. It’s making me crazy and I cannot think about anything else.  I have tried emailing, calling and texting and now I have no more avenues left to connect.

Has this ever happened to any of you? A relationship or a friendship that suddenly ends and you are left whirling. I woke up today with a knot in my stomach from thinking about it all night and headed to the internet where countless articles provide comfort in times like these. I found a quote which made me stop and reflect:

“Every relationship whether it be friendship or love will end someday, whether by break-up or by the death of one partner. Relationships have cycles. They are born, they live, and they die. Just like every part of life. It is merely a part of life.”

It made me pause and reflect. Everything in this world is temporary. We never want to think about relationships ending whether it be a best friend, lover or parent but that is how the world works. Some people come in our lives for a short amount of time and fulfill a certain purpose and then they are gone. Others stay for longer but even those are never forever.

I talked to my good friend Shenah about it for awhile today. She told me how now is a good time for me to look at some of the patterns I apply to relationships in my life and change them. You never learn this more than when you are forced to confront a painful situation. She has been there for me for many years helping me and guiding me through decisions and choices in life. Her advice is sound and comes from the deepest level of caring.  The age old adage really is true about loving yourself first. It’s also true that we need to confront the dark to see the light. I’m going to try and make some healthy changes in my life and I will keep you all posted. Thank you for reading!

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It’s the never ending battle of the diet and I am in the epicenter of the battle.

People always tell me that I don’t need to lose weight and I have no reason to diet but we all know that those things don’t matter when you feel chubby yourself.  I cannot tell you how many diets I have tried and failed. Society puts so much pressure on us and no matter who you ask almost everyone is trying to lose a few pounds. Being on television you get comments that can be hurtful at times. “Wow..you are so much skinnier in real life” or “I didn’t know the camera added weight” and even the woman who called during the newscast to ask if I was pregnant!

How does one ever develop positive body image in the world of stick thin models and size zero jeans? Will a size 4,6 or 8 even be considered ok? These are questions so many women deal with on a daily basis. I know for me it’s been a struggle for years. My weight hardly fluctuates but I continue to try fads and say no to sweets and snacks. My latest attempt is low carb and while it has worked quite well, I don’t think it’s the ideal solution for a long term fix. Will we ever stop dieting?

What is the solution? Is there a solution?

Can we ever raise our daughters in a world where they don’t idolize the skin and bones look? What do you think?

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What an exhausting day! Ever have one of those days where you feel like you worked an entire week all compacted into one single day? Yep that was today. It was extremely busy with the President flying into Eastern Iowa and that meant a lot of preparation and extra work. I enjoyed every second of it but I will admit that it was beyond tiring. Overall I think we did an excellent job and I am proud of the teamwork at KWWL.

I am now propped up in bed writing this blog entry. Though my day was exhausting it was made a lot brighter about an hour ago when I finally got to meet my little! I have been anxiously waiting for Big Brothers/Big Sisters to match me with someone for a few weeks and today was the BIG match meeting.

My little is named Shaniyeh and she is 6 years old. She is a beautiful, adventurous child who I instantly bonded with. In fact she wanted to hang out right away and didn’t even want me to leave the building when our meeting was over! I am so excited for us to spend time together and to get to know her better. Even though I am extremely busy it was important for me to find a way to give back in this community. Honestly I will probably get more out of this than she will! It feels wonderful to give back and be able to make a difference in the life of a child. I will be sure to post pictures when we have our first meeting in two weeks! Shaniyeh has made it clear that she wants to have ice cream! I can’t wait!

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I really like this quote that I just found on twitter:

Don’t go that extra mile for someone who isn’t even worth the run.

Maybe it’s time to examine the people in your life. What are they bringing to the table? Are they draining you more than they fulfill you? Are you giving far more than you are getting? It does not have to be that way. Fear of being alone keeps many of us stuck in imaginary prisons. I have been there many times before. Today you can make the change and start a whole new life. The power is in your hands. Have a wonderful day!

Just let go...

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Another goofy day in the newsroom and the question of the day is….

IF Nikki Newbrough interviews the president tomorrow which pen should she use to ask the super tough serious questions?

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It seems to me that the older I get the more catty women seem to become. I am not saying ALL women but indeed more than I would expect.

Whatever happened to being nice? In just the last few weeks alone I have had women stab me in the back, say rude comments to my face, be sarcastic and generally be unpleasant and downright mean. What is going on here?

Don’t get me wrong! I have wonderful female friends who I trust and rely on in my life. I have great girlfriends who I can call night or day and they will give me the best advice. They all want me to succeed and are genuinely happy when I do! The women I am talking about are the ones who barely know you but feel like they can be rude and mean to you for pretty much no reason at all.

I cannot tell if these people are just unhappy with themselves or just like to stir things up. It’s a mystery to me. I always try to treat everyone with kindness and respect. I even have empathy for women who act pompous and rude because I feel like a lot of people act that way to hide a lot of hurt and emotions that they may not have dealt with in life. As I move from city to city I learn more things about myself each time. In a way it’s a clean slate about how you life your life when you move. You know nobody and you are making new relationships daily. You get to choose all over again who you decide to keep around you and who you pass over.

Case in point was when I started in Eugene. I met tons of friends and had a wide circle of people to hang out with. As time went on however I found out who my real friends were. In the end I would say I had about four people that were genuine friends and that I would stay friends with for the rest of my life. I love them all and they know exactly who they are!  The rest of them were nice and kind but not people I would sustain a friendship with long term. Be choosy about who you keep in your life. Does that certain friend take the wind out of your sails? Maybe even in small but deliberate ways? Let go of the toxic people in your life and watch your life change. Remember that it’s just fine to be choosy! It’s YOUR life and you get to create it!

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Sometimes you are just so tired that you just want to sleep all day. Today was one of those days. I woke up exhausted, felt heavy headed all morning and kept taking mini catnaps during commercial breaks! This schedule can be very rough on the body. I often get asked what time I wake up in the morning. The answer? 2:45am!

It usually takes me about 20 minutes to hop in the shower, change and grab the lunch I packed. I don’t bother with makeup in the morning until I get to work. Then the morning gets extremely busy. I get to the station at 3:30 and start looking over scripts. There is so much copy in a two hour show that it takes a good chunk of time to read through stuff. I make changes as I go along and make sure our producer knows to copy those changes over from one hour to the next. Then it’s onto makeup which I do myself. I tease the hair, spray as much hairspray as I can muster and start applying makeup. This process usually takes about 20 minutes as well. Most of the time I have already started the coffeepot brewing so that I can have a fresh cup by the time I am out of wardrobe.

Then I grab my infamous yellow mug of goodness and head to the studio. I find it relaxing to read my scripts out there instead of the newsroom sometimes where it can be a lot louder. If I need to communicate with the producer I send her what’s known as a “topline” message which is essentially our software version of instant messaging.

Then I make final changes and throw my mic on and at 4:45 we are ready to go! It’s hectic but I cannot imagine doing anything else! You all make the crazy hours and stress worth it! Thank you for being the wonderful viewers that you are!

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Just got back from a wonderful time at the Isle Fashion show! Check out all my gorgeous co-workers! We got to model Dillards designer clothing line and had three categories! This is from the formal line! I really, really, really want to buy this dress!

A fabulous time at the Isle Fashion Show

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Well this is exciting! You can now get the Thought for the Day on your phone!

All you have to do is text the word INSPIRE to 82942 to sign up!

If you are having any trouble text HELP and to stop receiving alerts text STOP

Standard message and date rates apply

It’s that easy!

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