Last Saturday I needed to run a billion errands. Mostly I needed to go shopping for the upcoming party that is mentioned in the previous post. I had lots to do and a list a mile long. Mr. New decided he wanted to help me get things done and we hopped in my car and started to tackle the list. First stop was Party City where I looked for some fun plastic martini glasses and other accessories for the party. Up next was a stop at the Ethnic food market next to Honey Garden for samosas. While the inside of the store was very familiar to me with all the Pakistani and Indian spices and different foods, it was quite an interesting experience for Mr. New.
I found the samosas I wanted and then we headed to the good old HyVee for much of the rest of the groceries I needed. As we paced the aisles and I racked my brain with all the things I needed to get I started to become agitated. I couldn’t concentrate on anything and all the very friendly suggestions he was making were driving me crazy. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I was so happy to have him helping me out and not having to run errands alone…
But suddenly it hit me. “I am too used to doing things my way”
I always have. For months upon years I have always done things my way. I shop how I want to shop, sleep when I want to sleep, decide what I want to eat that day etc. Even when I have been in relationships, I still manage to find a way to maintain my independence and have a certain way of doing things.
Is this necessarily good? No. I don’t think so. I think the older you get and the longer you spend as an independent woman who learns to do things her way, the harder it can be when someone wonderful comes into your life. Mr. New is one of the sweetest, most caring men I have ever encountered but I still hold fiercely to my own sense of being and can be stubborn when it comes to doing things my way.
Standing there in the Hyvee after it hit me I gently grabbed his hand and looked him straight in the eye. “I’m sorry I’m acting this way. I am just not used to this. I hope you can understand”.
A knowing look came to his eyes and I knew it would be okay.
I can still be my own person and find room to compromise.
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This post was written by nchughtai on July 5, 2012
I think it has a lot to do with the man more than anything. I too am very independent and many men are unable to accept that. When you find a man that can allow you to be you, I believe you start to trust the person more and more, in turn allowing them to be a bigger part of your life….including making some decisions together and the man trusting that some decisions need to be made by just you…..it’s all about taking the time and effort to learn about each other and if you “fit together” in everyday life….such a grocery shopping….
If he’s in your heart I say go for it. Coming from experiance.I’m 62 now.Been alone for over 20 yrs, now its to late for me.I’m very independant.Have an awesome day Natasha.Be happy. Trish
It’s never too late my dear..but you are a strong amazing woman being alone that long..I bet you are one heck of a person!
One sense wants me to tell you to jump so Mr New can get the total you, the other tells me that this is too soon after Mr Wrong and you are rebounding. Find Mr Right will be hard and happen when you least expect it. Then all the work begins keeping it good.
Well said, Connie. I echo your thoughts completely. I’ve been married for almost four decades now. I believe a woman does not need to lose all of her independence just because she’s married/in a relationship. The man must understand that feeling from day one! If he doesn’t, it won’t work. Sometimes women give up their independence and are very miserable!
Not worth it! Take it slow, Natasha!
Natasha, if this guy is Jeremy, I know a guy who knows him and said that he is a very good guy and nice! Follow your heart!
Good thought “The Observer” I think you got it!