I am excited to speak tonight at UNI for the College of Humanities, Arts and Sciences “Welcome Back Bash” for students and faculty!

I received a wonderful call from a woman named Celeste who was so warm and kind on the phone that I couldn’t help but say yes though sometimes the thought of public speaking gets my heart going a little fast!

It’s funny how many people think that Anchors would automatically be comfortable speaking in a group situation but it’s quite different to be in a studio talking to thousands of folks out there and then having them right in front of you! Regardless I am excited and though it’s past my bedtime–it’s something I am really looking forward to doing.

Today was a learning experience for Mr. New and I as we had a little tiff this morning. I referred to it as a fight until Mr. New brushed it off later and said it was simply a tiff. Learning experiences all around. I love that he takes something that I think is ten times worse and makes it seem so small in the big picture of our relationship.

In past relationships that were unhealthy fights were full blown out fights! When I got into a heated argument with a significant other-disrespectful things were said and oftentimes my mind would think the relationship was over. Sometimes a fight would last a few days with us not talking to each other and a deep divide was formed between the two that would never seem to fully resolve itself.

Fighting styles are an important aspect to a relationship because no matter how much you are in love or care for someone you are bound to disagree at times.

As Mr. New and I had our minor “tiff” this morning –there was a time after a rather tense text was sent by myself where he didn’t respond for about an hour. As I waited my mind went to the very worse situation. I wasn’t sure how to even deal with our first fight. Would we ever make up? How would we move past it. The past kept coming to my mind and all I could think about was how things have been handled in my prior relationships.

I should have known better. Mr. New was just a bit busy at work and after what seemed like ten years he sent me a text

I miss you so much and you make the me happiest man ever. I have never been happier and it gets better everyday. Can I please take you to lunch today?

Communication I am learning is essential to anything. I over communicate with him constantly but I would rather he know where I was coming from then hide my feelings. Everyday we learn more about each other but the best part is how we can bounce back from things and realize how much we care for each other.

A healthy relationship?

It’s such a foreign concept for me but boy do I finally realize what was missing.

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Having an office makes life a lot nicer and gives me a place to organize my thoughts. I am sitting here now surrounded by paperwork and though it’s kinda a mess of random piles that need to get taken care of–it still feels good having one spot for it all.

Though I don’t have a nice sign up or even a picture at this point I found a way to represent my space with a simple piece of paper and a pen. I ripped off a sheet from a random pad and wrote the word BELIEVE on it.

That one word symbolizes so much for me. If I didn’t believe in myself would anyone else? If I didn’t believe I was capable of success and making my dreams come true then I couldn’t accomplish anything at all.  If you are not your number one cheerleader then who will be?

I never think we should become stagnant. We have to keep learning and reaching our dreams. Even when you have what you want ..there are always other things you can be doing to go further and farther in life.  Even if it’s as simple as just improving a current relationship or working out and eating right-there is always something we can do!

I have a sense of peace today and it’s been with me since the moment I woke up. Life seems to have fallen into place in many ways. I have an amazing person in my life, I have a wonderful family and supportive friends in my life. How often do we forget these things when we have a bad day though? I am guilty of it constantly. It’s all about perspective!

On another note–I had the chance to introduce Mr. New to many of my co-workers yesterday at a company BBQ we had! I must admit I was nervous to have him meet people I work so closely with. Ever since moving here I have gone to company functions and Holiday parties alone without hesitation. If not alone I would just go with some friends.

My boyfriend at the time was long distance and I never really minded going by myself. I don’t usually introduce anyone in my life to people unless I feel like that person is really someone I see a long-term relationship with. With Mr. New I genuinely wanted him there and felt comfortable.

The best part of the evening was when Ron Steele (who I admire beyond belief) was introduced to Mr. New and he said “Oh I have read about you”. Who knew Ron read my blog?!!!! I loved it!

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Another enjoyable weekend with Mr. New has concluded and sometimes it’s hard to believe how quickly life can change for you. There I was a few months ago completely heartbroken over another man who had left me high and dry and BAM Mr. New comes into my life. I wanted so badly to push him away and many times I did. We would make plans and I would purposely be several hours late. Or he would want to come over and I would make every excuse under the sun. I just didn’t want to get close again to anyone. I didn’t want to be hurt again. He may have been frustrated with me but he waited and that is what counts.

Do I still think there is a potential for hurt now? Yes. I very much deal with that thought everyday and I think it’s normal after you have been through lots of heartbreak in life. I am hyper sensitive to everything he does. Even the tiniest of doubts get magnified for me with him. I just don’t know how I would deal with another bout of heartbreak. But I have no choice but to trust him and keep going forward. I cannot be so severely scared that I ruin all this happiness I feel. It would be very easy for me to push him away. To continue living my life and dive into work and just not even risk being hurt at all–-but I cannot imagine doing that. Only people who risk are really free.

This weekend this supportive man of mine and I went to buy a desk. That may seem very normal but to me a desk signifies the first step in building an office that I have wanted for so long. I want an area I can shut the door and work on whatever my heart desires. Whether it be a few more chapters in my book I struggle to write, a goal setting session or just brainstorming ideas that I want to accomplish–it will be a personal space of just my own to work!

As Mr. New was hammering nails and screws to put it together, I was sitting on the floor talking a mile a minute about all the plans and goals I have in my life. He patiently listened and reminded me I have to have patience. He is right. I always want things NOW and he is the gentle nudging reminder that anything worth having in life is worth waiting for. I must take things one day at a time.  It’s this reassuring ebb and flow that we have that makes me so comfortable. He provides the calming influence in my life that I have so often needed. So often I have dated people just like me. Many of them were extremely career driven and quite Type A and while they were good people–we were too much alike and it never worked.

This weekend we went to Dubuque and spent time at a gorgeous winery called Park Farm Winery. We also took a scenic ride on the Mississippi by boat where we held hands and enjoyed the sunshine and water. Even this short Stay-cation was wonderful for me and provided just the right amount of relaxation for us. I have never enjoyed weekends this much before. It’s so nice to have someone in my life who makes daily living so special!

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These days I am finding it hard to sleep. Last night I was exhausted physically but my mind would just not shut off. I lay in bed tossing and turning, twisting the covers this way and that until I finally gave up and texted Mr. New. He called me right away and listened to me vent for about an hour–reassuring me the entire time.

I guess you could call this feeling something along the lines of “feeling stagnant in life”.

Let me explain.

I completely love what I do. Anchoring is a dream of mine that I have worked years and years to attain. I am so proud of myself for all that I have accomplished and where I am in life. I honestly cannot imagine doing anything else.

I am humbled by everything that has been given to me. Yet—lately I have been feeling like I need another project in life along with anchoring that I can do. Something I can do as a hobby or in my spare time to fulfill this feeling of lackluster when I am not at work. Essentially I want a side project of my own to create and develop. I think the answer might come in the form of photography.

Again Let me explain.

I am a picture junkie. I love taking photographs and creating unique images. In fact I have had several offbeat photo shoots done myself because I will come up with some edgy idea and want to see it come to fruition in the form of a photograph. There are lots of great photos in the world but what if you could do photography that would offer people something a little different from the standard photographs that most people take?

I want to dive right in. Of course I have no idea where to start but I have a lot of passion and a real commitment to this.

I have so many things I want to accomplish in life and I need to keep reminding myself to take things one step at a time. Mr. New is such a calming influence in my life. Last night he kept reassuring me of how much I have already accomplished and how proud I should be of myself.

He is right however I do not believe we should ever stop achieving goals in life. You can never stop learning, developing and becoming a better person and in the end it all boils down to balance!

First things first.

I plan to convert my second spare bedroom into a calming office space for myself. I want a desk and a room that allows me to be creative.  It will be a personal space for development and a place to make things happen. It will be a room where I can write my to-do lists and a productive place to write and formulate goals and plans.

My dad always told me that if you don’t write things down they never happen and I firmly believe he is right.

I am excited about making some new goals for myself and bettering myself in the process. I will keep all of you posted!

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Coming back to the Cedar Valley was made even sweeter because Mr. New did some very special things for me. He had hinted that I would find some surprises waiting upon arrival but I wasn’t prepared for all he had done. A sweet note greeted me right as I pulled in my garage on my door and then I entered the living room to many more surprises! Little notes everywhere and a gorgeous orchid plant with a card. Two presents in gift bags on my steps leading upstairs and a framed picture of the two of us on my bed with a rose.

One of his notes said “It’s the little things” and I quite honestly believe he is right. He seems to really listen to the things I say and takes note of what I need. Whether it’s cleaning my car out before vacation, taking out the garbage or just listening to me vent for hours–he seems to just understand me–

What is not so sweet is the cold blast of air from the past that continues to interfere with my life. Many of you have made the kind suggestion to change my number. I might do that eventually if the texts don’t stop but for now they are just a mere annoyance. They do make me sad in a way though. Not because I miss him whatsoever but because people make dumb decisions that end up biting them in the end. I am so glad things ended between us because if not I would have never met Mr. New!

I guess the best way to describe it is that I feel sorry in a way for Mr. Disappearing Act. His poor choices and confusion lead to him now attempting to get a second chance which is out of the question.  Despite the way he treated me I really do wish him the best in life and hope he finds happiness like I have. What he really needs to do is stop holding onto the hope that him and I will get back together and realize that we are done. I thought with my lack of response to his texts which are getting increasingly more desperate that he would understand that!

Today I got:

“The truth is that I have never missed anyone in my entire life the way I miss you. I see things everyday that remind me of you. I would give anything to have more memories together. If you ever find it in your heart to give me a second chance I truly believe we could build something new. Something with a foundation made of stone and not sand.”

Well Mr. Disappearing Act if I had to look you straight in the eye I would probably say..

It is too late for a second chance. You didn’t appreciate what you had when you had it and I wish you the best in life.

You left me dazed and confused for months and never once bothered to give me an explanation whatsoever. But none of it matters anymore. Most of all…Thank you…

Thank you for teaching me what I learned from you so I could be released and lead to meet someone amazing…:)

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I have many sources of inspiration but one of my favorites is quotes off of twitter. I started following @TheSingleWoman a few years ago and I find her tweets and her blog very inspiring and uplifting for anyone out there..not just single women!

One of the things she once mentioned was that people from your past always find a way to come back eventually in one form or another.  She talks about how people that you may have have completely moved past and moved on from will still show up in your life from time to time.

The main question when they do however is how YOU will deal with it.

I just had this happen to me on family vacation and it completely stunned me.

Day two of vacation I woke up at the gorgeous resort we were staying at and did the first thing that usually comes naturally to me in the morning. I grabbed my phone to check my messages and saw a number I didn’t recognize. I started reading the text completely confused and then it hit me like a ton of bricks…

“I’m sorry for lying and not being the man you deserve.  I take it you have no desire to keep in touch with me. I still and always will love you”

It was Mr. Disappearing Act.

The one who quite literally disappeared and left me in a tizzy.  The one who lied to me and stopped trying and turned my world upside down. The one who left me completely scared about love and caused me so many sleepless nights wondering how someone could just disappear entirely from your life.

He was contacting me months later after I had completely deleted his number out of my phone. I couldn’t believe it ..and on vacation nonetheless!

I completely ignored it and moved on with my day.  Then early this morning after I left my cabin with no reception and turned on my phone..another one

“All I want is you. I cannot live without you. I miss you. You are my soulmate. I truly believe if we fix just a few things we can make it work”

Am I going to respond? Absolutely not.  I find it amazing that someone who completely disappeared on me thinks he can just have me again. I have the most wonderful man in my life and wouldn’t trade him for anything at all. The mere fact that he writes to me months later and expects that I will just come back into his life is mind boggling. It made me think of what @TheSingleWoman had said and how true that is in life. Your past will try to come into your future and force it’s way in at times…the real question is how you will deal with it when it happens.

A minor bump in the road but quite honestly…perhaps it needed to happen to make me see just how wonderful Mr. New is!

I cannot wait to get home tomorrow and see him!

Remember—Your past can only rule your future IF you let it!

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We are back from vacation and what a great time we had! While it was wonderful and a great chance for the family to get together–I am very glad that we are home. Tomorrow bright and early I will drive back to the Cedar Valley and see you all bright and early on Tuesday morning!  Our last two days we stayed at a gorgeous cabin called Cross River Lodge. This is a hidden gem! Gorgeous log cabins right on the lake with full access to kayaks and boats all included! We really did have a wonderful time and the lodge owners were so kind to us. Each morning they cooked us a hearty breakfast and even took us out on a boat ride to a hidden island! We hiked about 20 minutes and then came across an amazing waterfall! It was a hidden treasure deep in the woods. Completely gorgeous!

We also bonded as a family. Being in such close proximity for such a long period of time I would have expected at least a couple big blow ups but we surprisingly got along almost the entire time and laughed and joked almost non-stop!

Here are a few more pictures from the trip!

Gorgeous Waterfall

Gorgeous Day

Cross River Lodge

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Family vacation has officially kicked off and as I write this the entire family is zonked out asleep. I admit it’s been quite a busy day and exhausting too but I am not into naps so instead I am blogging!

We left late yesterday and made the trek to our favorite resort in Northern Minnesota. Lutsen is a gorgeous area with rich scenery and wildlife. We have spent many times here as kids but I have not come back for many years since I have been so far away from family. This was a nice chance to get everyone together including my sister’s fiancee for a wonderful few days.

Travelling with the Chughtai’s can be a very interesting experience. We travel with enough stuff (extra food, extra clothing, extra everything) to which we can barely shut the trunk when we are done. Meantime someone wants to sleep, someone wants music, someone wants to go to the bathroom..etc. etc… We thought about taking two cars for the trip but instead decided it would be far more fun to all travel together. Before we even got on the road (which wasn’t till 7pm) someone had to mail a letter, dad wanted to stop at a drugstore for Vitamin C and my sister had an upset tummy. Everyone was responsible for a few meals on this trip and mom’s was last night’s dinner in the car. She made chicken kebobs rolled into pitas with a onion and cucumber sauce on top. It was a smart choice since it had to be portable and easy to eat.

When we finally adjusted and got on the road most folks promptly fell asleep including myself. I was at an odd angle with someone’s elbow in my rib cage and Robby’s head resting on my lap. I also couldn’t find any free leg space since a picnic basket rested underneath me and my mom’s thermos of tea (which nobody ended up drinking) was precariously on the other side.  Ah family times. Got to love them. We finally reached Lutsen about 2 in the morning and we checked in and all fell asleep.

We woke up bright and early and went to the Lodge for breakfast then checked out the gorgeous views. Breakfast was delicious except for the clump of sausage Robby found in his eggs which threw my mom into panic mode (we don’t eat pig in our family)

Once my mom was reassured that Robby would make it we were able to enjoy a nice family meal together.

After we had spent some time at the Lodge it was time for us to go to the Slide Run. Basically you take a ski lift to the top of the mountain and then you grab a sled like deal with wheels that you sit on. This contraption takes you down a windy, slippery slide with plenty of drops and scary moments as well. I was freaked out at first but once you do it a few times I found I wanted to go further and faster! A total blast! After doing this several times we headed over to the Gondola ride on the other side of the resort. It was a blast to get in the Gondola and ride to the restaurant and resort on the other side. I took a ton of pictures and we really enjoyed ourselves a ton!

Slides are Fun

After all that we headed back to the room where everyone promptly had a snack and fell asleep except for me who sits here blogging as everyone sleep soundly. More updates soon. In the meantime–here are a few pictures!

Breakfast at the Lodge

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Right after the noon show today I will be driving home to the Twin Cities for family vacation time! I am really excited to spend some quality time with my family but will also miss Mr. New a lot! This family vacation seemed to fall together at the last minute and we are going to a resort where I spent some time as a child. It’s a gorgeous area of Northern Minnesota with trees and lush scenery. I am bringing my running shoes so that I don’t fall off the wagon when it comes to the working out I have been trying so hard to maintain.

I will admit the frustration I have since I have not lost a pound in this process. Some of you kind blog readers have suggested that I add weight training to my routine and I started that a few days ago. I keep thinking that even if I didn’t change my eating habits whatsoever (which I have) I should still feel some weight loss considering I work out almost daily! Maybe I just need to be more patient and give it more time. I hope eventually I see some results.

Even though I am leaving for several days, Mr. New made sure I would feel connected to him. He left me a present (only to open when I leave today) and several cards that have different days and times on them to open accordingly.  I will have a little surprise to look forward to daily.

I don’t even know when he found time to do that! He is so thoughtful and makes me smile. He also left me a supportive note this morning because he knew I was a bit nervous about anchoring the Presidential coverage solo.

Present and Cards

Nice to wake up to this!

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Somewhere along the line in a new relationship the EX is going to come up! Whether it’s a slip of the tongue, friends who mean well but say things without thinking or something else altogether..it’s pretty much inevitable.

Such was the case at Mr. New’s party on Saturday night. The whole party overall was a great time. I was so happy that he got to spend it with some very good friends and family. The food was delicious and the weather was perfect for a game of bags in the backyard. While he was outside joking and laughing I happened to be in the kitchen with some of his good friends many of whom I was meeting for the very first time.

Somehow the conversation turned to the EX and while I am sure these friends meant well the conversation seemed to go on for a long time. Perhaps longer than was necessary. Not only that–the EX was brought up several times throughout the night. To the point where even my friend who was with me seemed to feel uncomfortable for me.

It goes without saying that no new girlfriend really wants to hear the details of her man’s past but I believe it may be lost on some people. Why do some people feel the need to bring up the EX constantly? I think sometimes people mean well but do not understand what a new relationship can be like.

I have no problem with most of it because without those experiences in both of our pasts– you never learn and we would probably not be together. You have to go through a lot of frogs to meet a prince as they say!

Sometimes well meaning friends can say things without really thinking. It did teach me a valuable lesson being on the receiving end. I will think twice when I am around somebody’s new love and make sure I don’t bring up anything that could potentially make them feel uncomfortable.  :)

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