Somewhere along the line in a new relationship the EX is going to come up! Whether it’s a slip of the tongue, friends who mean well but say things without thinking or something else altogether..it’s pretty much inevitable.
Such was the case at Mr. New’s party on Saturday night. The whole party overall was a great time. I was so happy that he got to spend it with some very good friends and family. The food was delicious and the weather was perfect for a game of bags in the backyard. While he was outside joking and laughing I happened to be in the kitchen with some of his good friends many of whom I was meeting for the very first time.
Somehow the conversation turned to the EX and while I am sure these friends meant well the conversation seemed to go on for a long time. Perhaps longer than was necessary. Not only that–the EX was brought up several times throughout the night. To the point where even my friend who was with me seemed to feel uncomfortable for me.
It goes without saying that no new girlfriend really wants to hear the details of her man’s past but I believe it may be lost on some people. Why do some people feel the need to bring up the EX constantly? I think sometimes people mean well but do not understand what a new relationship can be like.
I have no problem with most of it because without those experiences in both of our pasts– you never learn and we would probably not be together. You have to go through a lot of frogs to meet a prince as they say!
Sometimes well meaning friends can say things without really thinking. It did teach me a valuable lesson being on the receiving end. I will think twice when I am around somebody’s new love and make sure I don’t bring up anything that could potentially make them feel uncomfortable. :)
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This post was written by nchughtai on August 13, 2012
Natasha, you weren’t kidding in the slightest when you said it upset you!?!? I hope I didn’t contribute when I only wanted to reassure you. I’ll admit that I bring up a certain ex of my own frequently, simply because I learned so much. It might make you feel uncomfortable and I sympathize, but let me reassure you again that you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Oh, Natasha, how sad that some people have to be that way and can’t get over the “ex” factor. I remember at my cousin’s 2nd marriage that a groomsman toasted the happy couple but used the ex-wife’s name. HOW MORTIFYING for all involved. If/when you and Mr. New get to that point you’ll be well established in ALL minds as the perfect couple and no faux pas will spoil things. Good Luck!!!
Try living with it & being married. Fianlly I think the in-laws have given it up after 31 yrs. of marriage. They finally must have figured I wasn’t going anywhere and she wasn’t coming back.
I feel for you! It puts a person in a really weird, yes uncomfotable situation. A little heart breaking too.