How many sentences do I say every day that start with, “Honey, could you please”?  I honestly don’t know the answer!   In my case, I’m lucky that most of the time, my husband is pretty darn good about completing my “honey-do” requests.  But I think there’s a very careful line we have to walk when we ask our spouses to do something. 

I will be the first to admit that I like to do things on my own time table, which doesn’t always coincide with everyone else’s expectations, family and spouse included.  If you ask for your request too many times, you’ll often get a response that may include some sense of frustration or maybe even a “Why can’t you do that yourself?”  Neither are really all that unfair when you think about it. 

It’s important to be careful to only ask for a “honey do” when you really need help with something, and to try really hard not to nag.  It can be one of those “pick your battles” kind of things.   Your spouse will certainly appreciate a limitation on requests, and you might find they’re more willing to help when they don’t feel overly obligated, or that they’ll be “in the doghouse” if they don’t do what you ask.

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I’ve been on a brief blog hiatus over the past week.  One of the down falls of being a television journalist is that I often get stuck working on the holidays.  On Thanksgiving, I worked until late in the afternoon.  When I got off, my husband and I made the drive to the St. Louis area, arriving late in the evening.  We were only in town for a full day to spend some time with family, and then had to drive back so that I could work on Sunday.  

But for Christmas, I was lucky enough to score a little bit of extra time off.  So we enjoyed a few more days back home with family.  Because such holidays together are rate, it makes me appreciate even more the time I do get to spend with everyone.  It still seems to go by way too fast, but I consider myself so blessed to have some of the wonderful relatives I do. 

My husband's grandparents have 75+ family members and they get gifts for EVERYONE!

My cousin's boyfriend, is a musician and leads "John Henry & the Engine". At the Painter family gathering, we broke out into song--everything from Christmas carols to the "Twist 'N Shout"!

My husband & I did a little reminiscing about some of the great Christmas holidays we’ve spent together over the past decade.  Some of them stand out more than others, but each have been special in their own way.  Our first Christmas together was spent in New Orleans vacationing with my family.  The second was spent partly in Missouri, before leaving for a family vacation to Las Vegas for New Year’s.  In 2008, we spent Christmas in Wichita, Kansas.  I worked part of the holiday weekend before we flew out to Sanibel Island, Florida for a week-long trip.  This Christmas, like many of the others, didn’t include a vacation-like trip.  But it was still one of the more unique in recent memory.

Floyd & I at the Painter family gathering

Family gathering around my Uncle Craig's new keyboard

Great gatherings like these really should be a reminder of not just how wonderful family really is, but of what this season is all about:  sharing peace, love, and joy.  We should let that guide the way and set the tone for how we treat our family and spouses all year round.

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From time to time, I will share recipes with you.  Some will be treasured personal favorites, and others will be new.  For new recipes, I will be sure to let you know how it turned out and if we liked the taste!

I was sharing the following recipe with a friend, who will be hosting her potential future in-laws this holiday.  Barbecued brisket makes for a great supper.  If can be eaten knife and fork style.  Or you can slice it and make sandwiches for a lunch meal.  The recipe comes courtesy of the Elsberry, Missouri PEO “Sharing Treasured Recipes” cookbook, volume two.  Credit goes to chef Judy Schmitdtke of Murrells’ Inlet, SC who submitted the recipe for inclusion into this cookbook.

Please Note: This recipe takes significant preparation before it can be served.

5-6 lb. beef brisket

1-2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

2-3 oz. liquid smoke

1 Tbsp. celery salt

1 Tbsp. garlic salt

1 Tbsp. onion salt

1 Tbsp. black pepper

6 oz. barbecue sauce

Place meat in baking dish that will fit into your refrigerator.  Pour the liquid smoke over the meat.  Sprinkle both side generously with the celery, onion, and garlic salts.  (This has a tenderizing effect on the meat.)  Cover with foil and refrigerate it overnight.

When ready to bake, sprinkle with pepper and add Worcestershire sauce.  Bake in covered pan at 275 degrees for 5 hours.  Coat top of the meat with barbecue sauce and continue baking, uncovered, for one hour.

When finished, slice and serve.

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When I first proposed the idea of doing this blog, I had to write up a few sample posts to give my managers an idea of how I would approach it.  One of those samples was on this very topic, “The Little Things Count Big.”  And I thought it was worth sharing with my readers.  I think too often in all of our relationships we tend to focus more on the “big stuff” of making decisions, planning things, and making our expectations known.  But the little things we do to make our relationships, and our marriages, work often just go unnoticed. 

This summer, my husband and were in the process of buying a house.  Just before closing, I had a last walk through of the place with our realtor to make sure the contractor had made some minor fixes we’d requested.  I was only there for maybe 15 minutes.  My husband was at work.  But on his way in between the schools he teaches for, he stopped by the new house while we were there just to say hello.  Even though we only had time for a quick hug and a kiss, it meant the world to me that he went out of his way to do that.  Was it really that big of a deal?  No.  But he just wanted to see me.

Whether it’s unloading the dishes or starting a load of laundry for your spouse without them asking you to do it, the little things count big in letting your partner know they’re thought of and appreciated.

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Saturday snow outside our home in Waterloo

My husband adores snow!  I, on the other hand, am not the white fluffy stuff’s biggest fan.  As a school teacher, snow certainly comes with its perks for him.   He got the first “2 hour delay” call of the year this evening.  For me, it often means standing outside in the freezing cold reporting the “chilly” news to you!  But there are some fun things you can do with snow. 

 1) It’s a perfect excuse to cuddle up inside and do something together!  Saturday afternoon, we went to the movie theatre and watched the new “Chronicles of Narnia” film. 

2) You can have some good old fashioned kid fun!  When we got home from the movie, we had a mini snowball fight!  If it’s not too cold, we sometimes enjoy building a snowman, even if he only stands a foot tall!  And when’s the last time you made a snow angel?  Why not make one with your spouse? 

Enjoy the simple pleasures of the snow, even if it’s only for a few minutes.  When you come inside, you can make hot cocoa or cider.  Even if you don’t like the cold too much like me, these are some ways you can make it a little bit more bearable!

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A new study says that just might be the case.  Researchers at the University of Michigan followed 289 pairs of male twins for more than a decade.  For starters, the study did indicate men with less antisocial behavior are more likely to get married in the first place.  On the whole, researchers found some particularly interesting results regarding identical twins.  Whichever twin got married first, researchers noted a quicker decline in the number antisocial behaviors.  Marriage may not be a cure all, but the study seemingly indicates that a good union may help weed out bad behaviors.   This confirms earlier studies that have shown married men are less likely to commit crimes than single guys.

Being married to a fraternal twin, I certainly had an interest in learning this tidbit of information.  But a twin or not, my feeling is that a good man only gets better with a good woman, right?  We can’t expect to change the man in our lives, we can only do our best to be good to them, and then hope that kind actions are reciprocated.  In the relationships I had before marriage, I certainly found this to be true.  And my husband has only proved me right.  We’ve made each other better people.  And that’s the best outcome you can hope for in any relationship.

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From the get go, one of the most interesting parts of getting married is learning about your spouse’s family.  (Of course this can be good, bad, or challenging at times.)  But regardless of whether you love, just like, or can barely stand your in-laws, you are family! 

I got pretty lucky with the Mashek bunch.  We really love each other.  My husband has a really large family.  And since we’ve moved to Iowa, I’ve learned it may be even larger than I knew!  I’ve had people ask me if I’m from Calmar, Decorah, and New Hampton, among other cities.  They’re puzzled when I say, “No, I’m a Missouri girl.”  But I’m sure we’re probably connected somehow, even though it may go back several generations.  I recently learned that some of the local Masheks do have descendants from Bohemia, which is where my husband’s family lineage comes from. 

At any rate, I am fascinated by genealogy!  And I hope to learn more about this family tree, and I’d encourage you to do the same.  Before moving to Iowa, we uncovered some extended family in Kansas, near where we lived there.  It was so cool to meet them and to discover more about our roots.

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