I was reading one of my fellow blogger’s posts recently about her struggles in wondering what this whole business of finding Mr. Right is all about, and if it really happens the way people say it does. It took me back to the tender age of 16 when I was pondering over some of these thoughts. It seems crazy to me now looking back that I was having those kinds of thoughts as a teenager, but I was. And here’s why. As a very young teen, I felt very pressured for some reason that having a boyfriend was really important. So I had a lot of them. (not all at one time!) I would go on a few dates with one person, and if it didn’t click, move onto the next guy. It was kind of a vicious cycle really when I look back on it. But it served a very important purpose that became more evident later on. I was looking for something very specific, and very special–like all women do in trying to find Mr. Right at some point. I just happened to develop this sense of what it was I was looking for when I was just 16. And for me, it became yet more obvious after two very souring experiences within just a few months time.
I had fallen head over heels for a guy I will just call “A”. He pulled out all the stops all the time to make me feel like queen of the universe–flowers at school, a convertible to the prom–you name it. But just a few months into the relationship, he stood me up for a date–then later admitted he’d kissed another girl that night. Naive enough as I was, we continued to date. Ultimately–as you can predict, he dumped me. I was crushed to say the least.
Bruised but not defeated, I was determined to put myself back out there. A friend of A’s came to the rescue. He was charming and handsome. One night, we met up to go dancing with a group of friends. It would come to be a defining moment for me. Without bearing my soul too much, he took me WAY beyond my limits and tried to push me into doing things I was simply not comfortable with, but he refused to accept that. It got to be such a tense situation that I just got out of the car and walked away in tears.
There was another brief relationship with another cheating man to follow.
Then came a “fling” with one of our still close friends, Tony. I think he knew from the start, and maybe I did too, that we really weren’t meant to be. He just wanted a fling, and I was desperate for a committed relationship. I had literally been praying to God to send someone into my life who could make all the hurt go away and stick with me for a long haul. Little did I know that Tony would introduce me to his friend Floyd. And you know how that story ends up! From day one, Floyd treated me like every woman deserves to be treated: with kindness and respect. He understood my boundaries, dealt with my craziness at times, wanted to be involved in my life and with my family. He’d been hurt before, too. And together–we melted each other’s past bad relationships away and made a great one together in its place.
When it comes right down to it–here’s how I knew I’d found Mr. Right. I could look at all those characteristics of Floyd and not only think, “Ahhhh…This is awesome.” I could sit back and realize that all that crap I had been through was to realize Floyd was *the one*. I could appreciate him that much more because I’d been through the muck. I knew how I should be treated, and I got that. I know I am not just lucky, I am blessed beyond measure to have had this “aha” moment. The path to finding your soul mate, your best friend, your partner for life, isn’t always easy. But when you’ve arrived, you’ll be thankful for the journey it took to get there—because it is that journey that makes you realize you’re finally in the right spot with the right person.
I love you, Floyd–forever & always. Thanks for reminding me of why you’re Mr. Right every day.
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This post was written by kmashek on June 3, 2012