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Can a daughter replace a husband? One researcher says yes.

We ran a story recently that made everyone in the studio shake their heads.

Study says mothers with daughters don't need a hubbie.

Does welcoming a baby girl mean you can send your husband packing?
Notre Dame psychologist Dr. Sara Course says women with daughters don’t need their husbands, because mothers with daughters feel they will never be truly alone or without help.
Hmmm.
I do believe there is a special bond with mothers and daughters.
I also realize the mother/daughter relationship can be riddled with complicated conflict – so much so, it is the fodder for many film and book plots, not to mention the butt of jokes.
 But random commenters in reporter Dawn Timmeney’s story said everything from:
“I disagree with that.  Moms and Dads, they’re special together.”
to
“I think they are better off without their husbands,” – by the way, a man said this.
to
“What about sex? You’re missing that emotional aspect.  The intimacy aspect,” – and yes, a man said this as well.
Dr. Course said mothers and daughters have a special nurturing bond and an intimate emotional sharing that husbands and wives may lack.
Also, the psychologist says if a woman’s husband turns abusive, and she has a daughter, she is less likely to put up with the bad behavior and leave – wanting to show her daughter that certain behavior is unacceptable.
I can understand that a woman wants to model good marriage behavior for her children, and I understand the wonderful closeness a mother and daughter can have.
My mother was my best friend.
I hope to have a close and loving relationship with my daughter.
But I would have to disagree with this study.
I once read that husbands can be great companions, but terrible girlfriends.
Husbands were never meant to be girlfriends, just as women were never meant to be “one of the guys”.
Both men and women have unique strengths and weaknesses that complement and refine each other – that is, if they remain respectful and committed.
“The best thing you can do for your children is love their mother,” I’ve heard this saying posed to men.
I think the same idea could be applied conversely to women as well.
What do you think?
Can daughters fill an empty need that husbands can’t?
 

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This post was written by qni_it on September 30, 2010

Confessions of a dinner loser: I brought my piggy bank for lunch

Dear wallet and weight scale: I apologize I lacked the vision last Saturday to bite the bullet and go grocery shopping – despite extreme exhaustion and a deep desire to sit on the couch and watch a movie.

I tell ya, if you don’t get groceries before the week begins, life with a baby (and a full-time job) is not kind to last-minute hunger.

If you have the chance to get groceries on the weekend, take it. Trust me. You won't like the alternative.

Instead of preparing planned-ahead meals that are moderate in calories and high in nutrition, this week I have added to the profits of Jimmy Johns, Great Wall Chinese take-out, Taco Johns, and, thanks to a garage sale yesterday and today, (corner of W. 6th and Franklin in Cedar Falls!) Little Caesars Pizza.

This is not normal for me.

Eww.  I feel my waistband tighten just a little bit.

Okay, maybe more than a little bit.

I pick up my adorable daughter after the noon news, and all I want to do is spend time with her.

Soon she needs a nap, and then the looming, dooming question appears: “What’s for dinner?”

Rock-solid frozen chicken in the freezer?  Not enough time.

Where are the potatoes?  We ran out.

There are two all-natural eggs left in the fridge – not enough for a frittata (one of my personal favorites).

Darn it.  Why do I have to learn this lesson over and over again.

Where is the phone? 

You’ll be here in how long? 45 minutes?  Why am I a dinner loser?

So, an absence of  homeade dinner means no easy leftovers for lunch…

And now that we live in a nearly paperless society, I (against my mother’s teachings) rarely carry cash.

So today, sitting on my desk as I type, is a smiling pig.

Last-minute lunch money

Yes, my piggy bank, filled with pennies mostly, sits in front of me.

But guess what? I found 65 cents of non-penny coins!

That, plus the 20 cents in my wallet means I can get a Salted Nut Roll from the vending machine – yes!

That has protein in it, right?

Am I really 31 years old?

I don’t think it’s legal to be this age and this idiotic.

Please, someone out there tell me you’ve done something similar.

Please.

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This post was written by qni_it on September 17, 2010

“Tag”-me-not! Pictures I’d rather not share.

Holy cow.

No pun intended.

“Plentiful” upper arms pushed in unflattering poses, embarrassing high school show choir photos, really, really bad hair.

These are just a few of the gems I’ve discovered in the last few weeks starring yours truly.

Facebook has created so many new avenues of human interaction and communication – and sometimes they can come around to bite you, if you know what I mean.

You know those old photos you thought were dead and gone? They're back!

Recently, the cutest picture of my daughter was posted at a wedding, along with my husband and myself.  He looked great.  She looked great.  Mommy, not so hot.

It was right after a very hot outdoor ceremony.  I was sweaty, and wearing a blouse that does not look good on your arm if said arm is smashed against your side, holding a baby.  Yikes.

I adored, truly adored, my Hawaiian high school, but during my junior year I topped the scale at 172 pounds – which, as you can imagine, is not an ideal weight at 5-feet-almost-three-inches.

Looking back at these photos, I have a mix of emotions. 

First, shame and embarrassment.

Then, for past photos especially, a deep sense of compassion for the person I was, and wondering how I made it through those years.

Perhaps it’s a good thing to be reminded of your past unexpectedly (maybe), I certainly enjoy keeping in touch with old friends, and it stands as a good reminder of your growth over the years.

I’m trying to look on the bright side here.

What are your feelings on photos posted without

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This post was written by qni_it on September 13, 2010

Mother’s love literally raises the dead

Doctors call it an absolute miracle.

Kate Ogg Gave birth prematurely to twins. Girl Emily and boy Jamie.

The doctor said he couldn’t get Jamie to breathe, and that Jamie was dead.

Following her maternal instincts, and also wanting the chance to say good-bye, Kate placed little Jamie’s body on her chest, skin-to-skin, and talked with him.

After just a few minutes, Jamie started moving his head.

The doctor said don’t get your hopes up - it’s only a reflex.

But then Kate kept talking to Jamie, and in more time, Jamie started breathing!

This was on The Today Show recently, and I found it stunning.

In Australia, they call this “kangaroo care”.

Maternal nature trumps science.

The doctor kept shaking his head and saying he couldn’t believe it.

Now Jamie is 4-months-old, and appears to be totally healthy.

There is truly something magic about a mother’s touch.

For more pictures and the fuller story, click here.

Did you try to make it a point to have skin-to-skin contact with your baby after birth?

Tell me why you think a parent’s touch is so powerful.

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This post was written by qni_it on September 8, 2010